i realize, of course, we need to find and possess ALL our worth and value in Jesus. Well, we need and ought to do a lot of things, but honestly, making all our springs of joy and existence to be in Christ alone is not as easy as we might think. We are so often, so easily dragged backwards into the hopeless, Godless world we live in.
Lately i’m having a hard time completely finding my value in the Lord, although ALL my value is Christ alone, and there is not another. Oh sure, i know all my value is in Christ alone, and everyone who has spent time with God knows it’s the truth. Yet, if it’s all as much the truth as we declare it is, why do we tend to vacillate all the days of our lives? It’s right up there with saying “I know Jesus loves me forever”, but when things are bad we say, “Why has God abandoned me? Doesn’t He love me anymore?” And again, even though we know Christ-alone is the absolute, ultimate truth, we talk ourselves out of what we know is true. Good grief, why do we do that?
i have pondered this before the Lord and here’s how my thinking goes. All my life everything i’ve done has had some sort of measuring stick tied to it. For example, when i was young i was told, “If you mow the lawn, i’ll give you $10.” After i had gotten the lawn mowed i felt like i had value because i’d earned $10. Society likes kids who make good grades in school, and they shy away from those who don’t. i was told when i was young, “If you make good grades your mother and i will be so proud of you.” And then came the unspoken part which went something like, “And then we’ll treat you like we like you…a LOT! And if you don’t we’ll withhold our emotional availability and will subtly hold you in contempt.” Implying that if i didn’t make good grades, nobody would like me nor would my parents be proud of me. Make good grades = everyone likes you, make poor grades = nobody likes you. Interestingly, there were people who didn’t like me even if i made the best grades, and people who did like me…. a lot …especially when i made the worst grades. As long as my value was tied up in my ability to produce, i would always fall short, especially if i was always raising the bar of what was successful.
So much of my life’s value has been tied to my ability to make money, and when the Lord moved me out west, suddenly i became “the guy who was busy but didn’t make money” because my vocation changed to serving the Lord fulltime. Friends, it’s glorious to think of ourselves in full time ministry, but i’m telling you, when you’ve got $10 in your pocket and $500 in office rent is due, all that “full time ministry” stuff is very uncomfortable, especially when, like myself, you absolutely refuse to beg for donations and drum up support. I will not do it. As a result, my self-worth crashed and burned because all my value was tied up in my ability to make money. i didn’t realize so much of my value was tied up in making money, but it was. i’m far closer to the idea of “all my value comes from Christ alone” but on the other side of that, i’ve been in the throes of a complete identity crisis for 17 years now, all because my value in my own eyes was expressly tied to my ability to make money and be approved of by others. i’ve been trained that my worth is expressly tied to my ability to produce and be valuable (according to someone else) since i was born, diligently taught by my parents, school, friends and associates, movies, advertising, the military, bosses, clients, even some parts of the church (do good, get good, do bad, get bad). i have never known anything other than the concept my value comes from another man’s evaluation, subtly checking the boxes on a hypothetical performance chart. It all points out that my perspective is not nearly as important as the evaluators.
But then, i’m faced with God telling me, for 53 years now, that He is my value, He is my all in all, He is my strength, He is my hope, He is my wisdom, He is my insight, He is my peace, He is my, well — everything that is anything of real and lasting value, yet i have never known anything other than a worldly system which has been in my head since i was born. So to say, “all my springs of joy are in Him” can prove to be a difficult thing for most of us to imagine, that is, if we’re honest.
i think most of us, if we’re honest have a really hard time imagining ourselves as having value unless we attain a worldly standard, make money, or achieve some note worthy success.
Having value any other way is nearly unimaginable even though i have a very vivid imagination. But yet there is evidence in my life of value which comes by a different route than my being productive enough to deserve value. i stand in faith, i’ve lived a supernatural life so long i can’t imagine living any other way, i’ve witnessed the blue fire around the corners of the room during high praise, and no i’m not making that up, i wasn’t the only one who saw so i know i didn’t imagine it. i’ve witnessed the Holy Spirit set in upon the room and change our bodies, hearts, and make people sane again, whether i believed it or not, and He didn’t ask me if it was ok. My life has been more than natural, it is super-natural because God is supernatural, and i can’t deny where i’ve been with Him, even if it’s beyond the beyond of my imagination. It is the Lord. i’ve lived in the throes of an “expectation of God” for so many years, it’s like the worldly idea of success, though stuck to me so well i can’t peel it off, is being superseded by God’s “better idea”. i’m a constant witness of the glory of God out growing me to the point it is humbling to be in the presence of such constant goodness. From way out at a distance, it’s like someone is riding on a horse bringing good news to my dim “earth ears”, and the closer He gets to all things, the more all things become like Him.
Matthew 10:31, “Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” and 1 Peter 1:18-19, “Knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.”
Our value in Christ is not something you earn, achieve, or negotiate—it is a gift declared by God and secured by what Jesus did on the cross. We are infinitely and unconditionally loved, forgiven and declared righteous, and most of all, our value in Jesus is the value of someone for whom the Son of God gladly laid down His life, and it doesn’t fluctuate with performance, feelings, success, or failure. Our value is measured by the infinite worth of Jesus Himself who says in Isaiah 43:1, “You are mine!”
What do you think?