Sometimes examples of communication can be ridiculously funny.

The Massachusetts Bar Association Journal printed the following questions that were actually asked of witnesses during a trial. Were you alone or by yourself? Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? You were there until the time you left, is that true? Hmmmm. A bit silly sounding if we are paying attention. With questions like that i can’t help but wonder what kind of response the attorney expected.

How we communicate can make all the difference in the world with listening being one of the keys to success in a world full of trouble. Many times it’s not what was said but how we said it. As we all know, or at least we should know, an unpleasant word can be spoken with such kindness that the other person is more receptive to hearing, or, even a simple thing can be said so sharply that an angry reply is eminent. i suppose we need to decide if we want to resolve the problem or simply put our foot on someone’s neck, if you know what i mean.

Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Someone came up with this listening formula of three main points for building successful relationships – something I could put into more practice myself.

1. Listen to the other person’s story.
2. Listen to the other person’s full story.
3. Listen to the other person’s full story first.

James also addresses the baggage believers bring into their relationships with other believers.

James 1:19-21, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.”

He discovered they were using inappropriate expressions of anger, which didn’t bring about the righteous life God desired. In fact, he called that communication style a “moral filth or evil” to be rid of. Being quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry is James’ approach to a healthy method of operation. When we take the time to hear what is being said to us, even if we disagree, tends to seriously put a damper on anger and arrogance that prevents us from hearing the Lord. When we are presented with words of disagreement, criticism, and even someone condescendingly dismissing us as if we are worthless, it’s all too easy to feel justified in returning an angry response. Our angry responses do NOT generate a righteous outcome typically. In fact, they usually make our position worse, and may even discredit our declaration of faith in God. i think it would be much better to trust God to defend us as opposed to spitting out sharp words made in anger. Of course, that’s easier said than done. An angry man told me once that some people need slapping really bad, but he knew from experience that not only was it the wrong response, but chances are good the action would permanently defeat any future possibilities of resolution.

Erik Wiehenmayer reached the summit of Mt. Everest on May 25, 2001. 90% of the climbers who attempt this feat fail. What makes Erik’s climb amazing? He’s been blind since he was 13! The reason he succeeded is because he listened well. He listened for a bell tied to the back of the climber in front of him. He listened for instructions of teammates who would shout directions to him. He listened for the sound of his pick jabbing the ice to know whether it was safe to cross. He made the summit because he listened well.

Clearly, James wants us to listen to the familiar bell of God’s Word which can keep us from deep internal resentments and inappropriate expressions that break down a relationships. To have the listening skills of an Erik Wiehenmayer is a good thing, right?

Thanks for listening, i’m Social Porter for Living In His Name Ministries.

Philippians 3:13-16, My friends, i’d like you to know that, although i have left and am definitely on my way, i don’t count myself as having arrived, nor do i think of myself as being at such level of spiritual maturity as to sit above anyone else… but i can, with all confidence say this, i’m learning to let go of those things which are behind, and consistently, calmly have drawn the conclusion i will reach forward, everyday, to those things which are in front of me. Sometimes i can’t see it, but there’s the solid faith in my heart which says i know that i know, I’m bearing down on the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. i think of it as a goal and the ultimate prize. As a result, be encouraged…. let us, as many as are spiritually mature, have this determined mind set. If in any way or variance from our determined course, you think otherwise, rest assured God will reveal the deviation of your path to you. The Lord is very good at getting our attention when He needs to. Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already gained a sure footing in Christ, let us all walk by the same rule, let us all be of the same mind. Let us carefully give attention to those who reflect the example Jesus set for us.

There are 2 words which, of late, i have come to greatly appreciate, “But God”. “But”, meaning on the contrary, or except for the fact. The world tells us one thing, then there is “But God” that is to the contrary. The devil persuades us one way, then there is But God, which tells us the truth which is on the other hand from the world or the devil. Eph 2 says that we were once the offspring of anger, malice, hate, and vengence, but God made us alive in Christ.  In Psalms 73 “My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  “Many wander in despair, “But God has called us to peace.” (1Cor7:15)  Also, 1Cor1:27 says not many wise or noble are called, “ But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise…”

i heard a preacher say once that the enemy has fully set his will against us and wants each of us to concentrate on how far we have fallen, rather than how far we have risen. the devil, who has been defeated, wants us to focus on our pasts instead of our futures, and how far we still have to go, rather than how far we have already come. He wants us to think about how many times we have failed, rather than how many times we have succeeded.

But God wants us to focus on our strengths and not our weaknesses, our victories and not our losses, our joys and not our problems. Not that we all don’t have weaknesses, losses, or problems, but God tells us repetitively in scripture that those things are not our focus. Philippians 3 tells us that God wants us to press forward and respond to His upward call and forget what lies behind us. Respond, responding is a big deal! Do we actually respond or do we tend to sit and stare? Let go of what is behind. There is no regret in this world which will ever allow anyone to relive it all, making it something other than what it was. Let it go. Do not believe the lies of the devil. Pay attention to what God is doing, where God is working, focus on what He has given to you and respond. Magnify the works of the Lord!

“But”, meaning on the contrary, on the other hand, except for the fact. We were once children of wrath, “but God” made us alive in Christ. There are many opinions, “but God” is one. Man boasts many things, “but God” is faithful. Many wander in despair, “but God” has called us to peace. Many sow & water, “but God” gives the increase. Men forget their promises, “but God” remembers. Mankind may leave us, but God stays with us. The enemy of our soul works always works toward our demise, but God does not allow us to be given into his hand. 2 Samuel 14:14 says that we must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and he devises an imaginative plan so that the banished one will not remain an outcast. People won’t listen to the weeping of our heart, but God always hears even our faintest cry.

At an absolute minimum, “but God” occurs at least 43 times and that’s not including all the variations. The Lord wants us to know He is on our side, and there’s no kidding around.

Thanks for listening, i’m Social Porter for Living In His Name Ministries.

We love to say, “We are living in a culture of honor at our church,” and it’s highly likely, at least on some level, that’s true. But after having spoken to quite a few people about what their idea of honor is, more often than not, it seems their practice of honor is more about having the admiration of others, rather than actually being someone of honor.

“Honor”, as is mentioned in Genesis 34:19, is the same word used for “glory” in many places. So, what’s up with that? i always thought glory was glory, and well, to be transparent about it, i didn’t have much of an idea of what honor was. Oh, sure, i’m surrounded by people who throw the word honor around left and right, but truthfully, upon further inquiry, i’ve found they don’t really have much context for what God means either. Although, to use that word in church surely does make us sound awfully spiritual, doesn’t it?

To my surprise, as i said, it is often the same word for glory except there’s a bit of a turn in how it’s used to convey what we perceive as honor. i think it’s also a necessary mention that three times in Proverbs, the Lord says humility is before honor. Humility first … THEN honor. How many people say they live in a culture of humility? Yea, i’d guess not many. Listen though, from God’s perspective honor doesn’t simply mean that everyone havs value, but is honor as something of the Lord which lives in us which gives us our buffed to a high luster good looks.

God’s intent is that every son walk in “kabod”, which, in this case, we’re speaking of “honor”, not just glory as “glowing grandeur, and weighty presence”, but more something we possess as a refuge for hope, safety, care, and assurance for others, which are attributes of “valor”. A “mighty man of valor” was someone who was willing to bleed for a cause, and the Lord is highly honored and demands the greatest respect as someone of the highest valor. He is our standard of someone who walks in the highest honor, commands the greatest respect, and always acts in righteous valor. The opposite of “honor” is when the “refuge is violated”, meaning betrayal. When honor tips over into dishonor, or a “violated refuge”, what was once glowing and weighty character becomes Hebrew “qalal”, a curse, weightless and thinner than a shadow, and is a common traveling companion of dis-esteem, no respect, and disdain. Dishonor breeds contempt, and causes others to think in terms of scorn as an action. Malachi 1:6 speaks of treating the Lord without proper “respect” as in they did not “honor” Him, with “respect” being a subset of honor.

Is it moral for believers to look to be honored? We must decide these things if we’re going to pass out titles. On one hand if someone is elected to public office, we have no problem addressing them as deputy, counselor, judge, senator, or any other title which comes with the election. But it’s odd how, within the church, many quickly run to get a title, and how others play down having a title. Consider again, humility precedes honor. Let us consider carefully, Jesus totally blamed the Pharisees for loving the first places at feasts, the first chairs in the synagogues, loved being recognized in public, and getting titles of honor for themselves. He told His disciples not to be called Rabbi, Father, or Master, like the Pharisees; the greatest among His disciples should be the servant of all; whosoever exalts himself shall be humbled, and the one who humbles themselves himself shall be exalted.

In my efforts to understand honor, i kept seeing the term “high-mindedness”, an archaic term meaning arrogant, or haughty. If we practice high-mindedness, thinking more highly of ourselves than we should, in truth, it can’t actually be a virtue, but only implied virtue…it is merely an outer shining which intensifies our own glowing exterior. Real honor is grown in us by the Lord and is a glow from the inside out. An authentic honorable person is someone who is humble first and never hides themselves away simply to maintain the exterior glow. Giving legitimate and authoritative honor is when we extend recognition of another’s worth or station. As a result we show honor to someone by giving them their title if they have one, and by raising our hat to them, yielding to them a place of precedence.

Is where you fellowship, the people you hang out with, are you safe there? To be someone of honor means, in our character, God has worked steadiness that others would see us as a well established pier to stabilize the body. Being the people who tell the truth even if it’s to their own hurt; the people who are the same in the house and out of the house; the people who are known for their exemplary conduct, character, and conversation; the people who know they are connected to Heaven by the nails of the cross; and those who have taken Jesus as their crown of a good name. Honor.  Fearlessness, and compassion are to honor, as holiness and righteousness are to God. The breath of God imparts honor, and honor imparts inspiration to those who live life at a pinch point.

What do you think?

Our adversary, the merchandiser, is the one who’s will is fully set against God and ourselves, now and forever. It’s important to know something of who it is that constantly grieves the nations as a whole and us as individuals. Right off the cuff, i want you to know normally i give the devil no press and neither should anyone else other than to throw his rotten hide out – i don’t capitalize the first letter of his name. i don’t consider the father of lies hardly worth even a dishonorable mention, and the only thing he is worthy of is judgment and being driven backwards into his own gates in hell. The devil gets no press, man, he gets no press. But, i believe the Lord has asked me to talk some about who he is.

The truth will never come from a lie, the devil will never give life, and similarly nothing good and righteous ever came from anyone or anything except Jesus Christ.
So, at that, let’s get started.
What first caught my eye on this issue were the words God used to describe the devils actions. The words, “Go up and down, back and forth” speak of searching out and considering.

Psalms 59:14, “And at evening they return, They growl like a dog, And go back and forth in the city. They wander up and down for food, and howl if they are not satisfied.”
The phrase, “go up and down, back and forth” is used of those who prowl around in Leviticus 19:16, “‘Do not go up and down spreading slander among your people.”, meaning don’t go around casting shadows on your neighbors. Job gives us a glimpse into a conversation with the Lord in Job1:7, “The LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the LORD, “From going back and forth through the earth and going up and down in it.””
And finally in Ezekiel 28, God tells us directly about the adversary of Heaven saying, “… you walked among the fiery stones. You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you. Through your widespread merchandising you were filled with violence, and you sinned.”
There is an insight into darkness we cannot miss and is important in our warfare as it pertains to being informed and not ignorant.
Hold the line of righteousness, breath easy and keep your peace. i shall return shortly.
Our enemy is called, among other things in scripture – The Trader, or Merchandiser Who Travels, going Up And Down trading, buying and selling.
The Hebrew, “sāḥar” is a verb meaning to travel for trading purposes, as a merchant. Sahar is used to refer to a traveling trader in Genesis, 1 Kings, Jeremiah, Isaiah, and Ezekiel, so it’s not an uncommon word, but the way God uses it about our enemy is important.

We live in a merchandising and trading society, and in this merchandising society, where people trade and they themselves are traded, we trade ourselves, our families, our homes, our ethics, our principles, and our morals, often, for mere trinkets. In a society where everything is for sale, life is harder for those of modest means. The more money can buy, the more affluence, or the lack of it matters. God intends for us to hold Him and His standards, and that includes us as believers, as sacred. Martin Longman wrote, “…and sacred does not mean that something “is beyond question.” It means that something is beyond price.” In other words, if nothing is beyond price, and there everything and everyone has a price, the price becomes God, and that would make us worshippers of mammon. Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.”

Of recent, i’ve heard of some folks who needed God’s path of repentance, but were advised they didn’t really need to repent, step down, or be responsible for the mess they had created. Why would leadership not give that sound counsel? When a situation in our church had a similar issue, i asked “why are those who are wounded from sin allowed to continue in their position?”, i was told, because, if they were required to step down, giving their conscience time to recuperate from the contusions of sin, church leadership said they feared they would be “denying them hope”. In game theory, the discovery of “the payoff” is always a bottom line to consider. What did the leadership have to gain by not standing their scriptural moral ground, what was their payoff, and why did they consider their “pay off” more important than their standing with God? What was “the payoff” for all those participants in the situation, because there truly is a “payoff”?

Hmmm, “Denying them hope”. Exactly how does asking leadership in sin to step back to allow themselves time to recuperate, how does that “deny them hope”? That’s absurd. i believe what really denies hope is accomplished by discouraging their repentance, transparency, responsibility, and accountability. Wow, now that’s something to think about. Those leaders with a bruised conscience are traded out of their integrity for tomorrow in order to not have to suffer the embarrassment of repentance today.
It is very twisted thinking which trades only in the “now” with no thought for the “future”. Let it be known that our enemy hopes our conscience doesn’t mind a small offense, afterall, it is small … for now.

Mankind is seduced into trading a relationship with Jesus for the immediate joy of achieving a personal agenda and having a shiny thing in the “now”, like when the entire state of Kentucky was gotten in a trade for a new Henry rifle and some beads, and the Cherokee chief was deceived into thinking he got the better part of the trade. Our enemy wants to sell us today at the expense of tomorrow, and how often do we agree to trade the integrity of our conscience for a shiny thing and beads today? Without repentance, without being responsible for our actions, without the practice of transparency and accountability there is no real leadership other than dictators and darkness, and the problem with dictators is when they make a bad decision, everyone is too terrified to say the decision was a bad idea.
Could it be that r-e -a-l leadership is not so much telling others what to do and when to do it, but is more when someone has such exemplary conversation and conduct, and are of such character which is so meritorious and righteous, we want to be like them? Who, in our governing body, local or federal, is of such exemplary conversation, and character, we want to be like them? Jesus is a real leader. i want to be like Jesus, He is our real example of conduct, conversation, and character.

For mankind, it starts with repentance, for without repentance is without hope. Repentance before God IS the beginning of hope. Christ Jesus is our hope according to 1Tim1:1, and in order to take His love to ourselves, again, it starts with repentance. Jesus must be gained, for He is the personification of power to change, and without Him any real transformation is questionable. Salvation is not gotten by just living near a church or simply owning a Bible. The Kingdom of God doesn’t come by observation, by intellectual ascension, or by the collection of empirical data, but through the Blood of Jesus Christ alone. Jesus isn’t apprehended by osmosis, which is an unconscious assimilation of ideas, being “near to” instead of consciously being “part of”. To leap past the blood and expect anointing is backwards, it is confusion. Interestingly, the Greek word for confusion paints a picture of a backward and contrary wind, similarly, anointing without the blood of Christ is like a backward and contrary wind.
In the book, “The Anointing”, the writer states that the blood of Christ on Calvary is first, THEN comes anointing, and you never get anointing without the blood of Christ first applied. The blood of Jesus covers us when we repent (as noted in 1John1:7); if we aren’t covered in the blood of Jesus then what are we covered in?
Jer3:25 “We lie down in our shame, And our reproach covers us. For we have sinned against the Lord our God”.

To counsel by short sighted and misleading counsel that repentance and ownership of our actions isn’t necessary because we fear we will deny someone hope, is a trade made in hell.

Who is the following passage talking about? Is it the King of Tyre, literally, or is it about Lucifer who became satan? Ezek28:14, “You were the anointed cherub who covers; I established you; You were on the holy mountain of God; You walked back and forth in the midst of fiery stones. You were perfect in your ways from the day you were created, Till iniquity was found in you. By the abundance of your trading You became filled with violence within, And you sinned; Therefore I cast you as a profane thing Out of the mountain of God; And I destroyed you, O covering cherub, From the midst of the fiery stones. Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty; You corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor; I cast you to the ground, I laid you before kings, That they might gaze at you. You defiled your sanctuaries By the multitude of your iniquities, By the iniquity of your merchandising …””
The five Hebrew words for “trading” or “merchandising” have similar meanings being they were used to designate the goods or wares which were bartered. Lucifer, who is the now fallen angel, satan, is the father of lies, king of the dung hill, and as the lord of the flies he is the original cruel merchandiser and trader. One of God’s aught with him was his trafficking, his going “up and down”, his trading. But let’s understand better…it wasn’t JUST merchandising and trading, it was the heart behind it all. satan loved to cause shame, delightful shame, because when we are ashamed of anything in ourselves, he knows confusion has found a firm footing. In that confusion, the trap is laid, and there comes a contrary and backward wind, muddling the mind and heart of his victims. he is the ultimate manipulator, leveraging the outcome in his favor at the expense of another. It is evil. Let me say that again, manipulator, someone who leverages the outcome in their favor at the expense of others.
But what could be wrong with satan’s trading and merchandising? In my opinion, for scripture isn’t clear, the problem with his going back and fourth, and up and down doing business, merchandising and trading, was that his balances were evil, he cheated, he robbed, especially when who he traded with was in deep need, he loved, l-o-v-e-d to “skin” the person he traded with especially when they were on their last dime or last breath.

Trading someone out of what they so desperately need and cleverly convincing them they’ve really gotten the better trade, to the evil merchandiser, it is delicious sin, iniquitous and beautiful.

1Peter5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith…”.
i knew a man who traded another man out of a very nice drum set, and all he could talk about was how he “skint that guy good!” with a laugh, he licked his lips like he was tasting how delicious the cruel trade was (it really happened!). The drum set, even used, was worth several hundred dollars easily, he knew the man and his family were really down on their finances and desperately needed money, so he got the set for a mere $75. His glory was in how he skinned the guy, not how he got a great drum set. It was more delicious that the “down on his luck” guy would lose, rather than the trader would win.
Does your integrity have a price tag? Would you be immoral with someone for a million dollars? Yes? You’d be surprised at the number of people who, inwardly, say yes. How about $500,000? $50,000? How about $5000? “Yes” for the million but “no” for the $5000, and now you’re offended it’s suggested anyone would think of you as being so cheaply had for a mere $5000? C’mon, don’t be offended. i’ve already established you can be bought when you said “yes” to the million, i’m just finding your bottom line. Friend, do you think satan, the merchandiser comes at you any different?
For the author and finisher of the darkside of the merchandising and trading business, satan, it wasn’t nor isn’t so important that he wins, but more that you lose, and we’re left thinking “we won” just because we didn’t get caught…. yet.
The devil trades us out of justice with a plea bargain and a partial truth. he trades us out of our prayer time with God by swapping us a phone call or a TV show that seems interesting or, somehow, more important in the moment. he trades us a thin hamburger today for us to give up the marriage supper of the Lamb tomorrow. he trades us a position up front so we will be seen for the sacrifice of our humility. he trades us honor for our dishonor, but it’s only a little dishonor, after all, we got what we wanted, right? We often don’t realize a little dishonor today, makes a little more dishonor tomorrow. he trades us prestige for self-esteem if we don’t mind defiling ourselves just a little bit. he trades us being in leadership as long as we’re willing to wear our belt of truth a little loose. he trades us a title for our integrity, not realizing that titles breed titles and only the world and religion loves titles. he thrives on our own poor self-esteem and trades us shame for us giving away destiny. he trades us fun fun fun tonight, for some guilt and a bruised conscience tomorrow, but it’s only a little bit, right? he trades us punishment and the right to suffer for forgiveness and mercy and … we’re so convinced we deserve all that badness, having learned to be such good martyrs. He trades us intoxication with the world, anesthetized from the pain, rather than repenting and going “through” the pain of dealing with our own bad choices. What other things does darkness offer to trade us for?
1Tim4:7, “ Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”
Everyday we do not practice and train in godliness, from which holiness, righteousness, honor and honoring flow, we are being conformed to the world of ungodliness around us.
We live in a merchandising society, where everything we can imagine, and even things we can’t imagine are up for trade. Every scruple, every moral, every principle, every word of every moment is for sale to much of our society. We seem always on the ready to merchandise our souls for trinkets and flashy things.
If we need money, we even allow anyone who wants to serve as a human guinea pig to sell themselves in a drug-safety trial for a pharmaceutical company. Price tag: $7,500. Of course, you may die or be impaired for life, but hey, you’re for sale right? The pay can be higher or lower, depending on the invasiveness of the procedure used to test the drug’s effect and the discomfort involved.
In a large metropolis in North Carolina, the city, at one time, paid teenagers $2/day to NOT get pregnant. Their morality was for sale to the highest bidder, and helped create a “what’s in it for me” attitude. How about selling your time to stand in line overnight on Capitol Hill to hold a place for a lobbyist who wants to attend a congressional hearing? You can make $15–$20 an hour if you’re up for sale. Check it out: Lobbyists pay “line-standing companies”, who hire homeless people and others to wait in the queue, and then call when the lobbyist needs to come take their seat.
The Son of Glory was even traded for 30 pieces of silver.
Eph6:10, “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” Think about it.

A man’s daughter had a party and all the girls wanted to watch a gory horror movie. When he protested their choice of movies, the girls said, “It’s only a little bit! There’s not much bad stuff in it. C’mon dad, what’s the big deal!” He went in the back yard and found a small bit of dog poo, came back in the house and made brownies. When the brownies came out of the oven, the girls all ran to get some. Right before they grabbed a square, he warned them that there was a little dog poop in the brownies, but afterall, c’mon girls, it was only a little bit, so it should be just fine. What’s the big deal?
True, we all seem to know there are something’s money can’t buy, but these days, not many. Almost everything and everyone seems to be up for sale, and it seems we need to pay a price just to enter the spiritual life, oh and don’t forget the ongoing fees to maintain our membership. i am, daily, overwhelmed by people trying to sell me books, trinkets, ministry money schemes, programs for grow our spiritual life, or other products to “help” us. Always for the purpose of improving our lives or helping us be better.

In 2012, Dallas, Texas schools were paying 2nd graders $2 for every book they read. Did you know you can get a prison-cell upgrade for $90 a night? In Santa Ana, California, and some other cities, nonviolent offenders can pay for a clean, quiet jail cell, without any non-paying prisoners to disturb them. Did you realize you can buy the right to immigrate to the United States for $500,000? You say “surely not. No way.” You may think that’s not true, but check it out for yourself: Up until January of 2017, foreigners who invested $500,000 and created at least 10 full-time jobs in an area of high unemployment were eligible for a green card that entitled them to permanent residency.
Did you know being on a committee in our federal gov’t, those seats are for sale? That’s right, you have to buy the right to sit on that committee, and then you have to do the whim of the committee chair or else you and your money are out. Would you sell your honesty and value to gain a position in your church if it was for sale? No? i bet you’d be surprised at the churches who sort of sell leadership positions to those who want to “get ahead”. The price: your integrity, time, character, and value. i’m reminded that other than the Bible, there is no required reading, no manuals or supplemental study guides that are essential to my life in Christ. We have celebrations on certain days of the year, but what the meaning behind those days is, is not for sale, and we can buy doo-dads and trinkets and lights to decorate our houses, and a cruel government may someday tell us we cannot celebrate, but the meaning behind those days is not for sale, ever. What is and is not for sale has somehow become a grey area and has lost it’s boundaries in the minds of many believers.
God doesn’t act like us and i find it amazing that we often align God with ourselves, drawing similarities, saying, God is like us. Where did we get such absurdity? Jesus bought our redemption. God never sells seats, integrity, or a place at His table.
i’m Social Porter and this has been Outposts, cool jazz and think worthy conversation. Tonight’s program has been brought to you by Living In His Name Ministries, Ten Shekels and a Shirt Dry Cleaners, the BeBop Sweet Shop in the thriving metropolis of Ten Mile Mississippi on Ten Mile Road, Eddie at Area 22 Guitars in Brevard, man that guy knows his stuff, and of course, Jeff and Karen over at the sweet spot on main street, Trinity Bakers, that’s right, Trinity Bakers where there’s always something good in the oven.

Is your belt of truth on tightly, is your armor cinched up? Does your helmet of truth fit well? If not, are you really ok with your belt of truth being a little loose? Is it really ok to be willing to endure a small bruise on your conscience today at the expense of your integrity tomorrow? Don’t let the merchandiser swap you out of your quality tomorrow for some of his quantity today. That’s worth thinking about. Our enemy is fully set against us, and God is fully set in our favor. Yahweh is for us, hell is not. The world is never on our side. Jesus died that we would have life and have it more abundantly. Let’s choose life, not be ignorant, nor practice the things which easily sacrifice our tomorrows.
Consider carefully how we treat one another and until we meet again, be strong and courageous! Amen.

There are not many things as uncomfortable as someone scowling and aiming their finger at you. It is possible to inspire feelings of guilt in other people simply by scowling and aiming our bony finger at them. There is a kind of pressure extended at the business end of a gun, and our aiming finger looks something like the aiming gun of judgment. For those who feel the need to exact judgment on behalf of others, i say nice shootin’ Tex, but put your guns away.

It’s a funny thing, people insist others be honest and transparent about their opinions and infractions, yet when they are, the same honesty and transparency is often used against them. In a way, it looks more like Karpman’s drama triangle than a fellowship designed for reconciliation and restoration. With all the banging and crashing around and our exercising judgement towards our neighbor at church, sometimes i think we should wear crash helmets instead of hats.

And what, you may ask, is Karpman’s drama triangle? Well, in short here it is: imagine a triangle, and then imagine at the top point the word “controller”, at the bottom right is “victim”, and at the bottom left is “persecutor”. It takes at least two to play this game. The controller/rescuer exerts personal power over the victim, until the victim can’t stand the onslaught of control anymore, then they switch places. The victim becomes the persecutor, and the controller becomes the victim, with the persecutor pounding on the “controller who has become the victim” until everyone is exhausted. A mild lull in the conflict occurs, then everyone goes back to their original places. For a moment it may appear there is peace, but the truth is, it all starts all over again, round and round. It reminds me of being trapped in a washing machine, and the beater is just pounding back and forth till you’re nearly beaten to pieces. The only way out is to stop playing the game where one of the two players wakes up to the cycle, or someone quits the relationship.

Isn’t the aiming finger of judgment like that? Put your guns away. Did you know that one meaning behind the Hebrew word for judgment is to “level the hand at, as in aiming the finger”? Interesting word picture there. When Paul wrote “judge not least you be judged”, he didn’t necessarily mean don’t make any decisions, but more precisely, don’t cast upon others your personal opinion of right and wrong.

So, let’s imagine a young woman gets exposed by someone at her church in a fault, and rather than talk to the woman who was found out, they run and tell leadership first.  It happens in a lot of places, so it’s not just unique to your house. When word breaks that a sinner has been uncovered in the congregation, suddenly the room becomes so very divided. i believe rumor spreads fast and sticks to us tighter than good news. Many people become tooth-grittingly religious and want the woman to bleed, even though her fault wasn’t as terrible as the tattle tales made out. Then the leadership may have a meeting with the young woman being in the “hot seat”. At first the finger pointers absolutely insist the woman “come clean”. So she does, she cries and spits out her story there at their feet, being honest and transparent as they demanded. Then, yes THEN, they persecute her, and severely reprimand her, demanding ridiculous plans of repentance, not until she has turned from her way, but until THEY are satisfied she’s bled enough, in their opinion.           At what point will she have bled enough to satisfy their need for someone to bleed?

In the weeks which follow, every time she goes to church, people roll their big, moist eyes at her, staring and whispering to each other. She finds herself feeling like a leper and is subtly, silently compelled to sit in the back row to escape the curious looks and religious stares of others. People look at her like they’re at the circus, walking past the cage of the “dangerous sinner woman”.

Initially, the shadow-casters, the tale bearers have their aiming finger of judgment stuck out, snapping at her like hungry dogs, gnashing their teeth at about everything that moves. i wonder though, why didn’t leadership scold the backbiters for scandalizing the entire event? They basically joined the scandalizers in their shadow casting. Why did they listen so closely, maybe even eagerly, to hear the juicy story?

Let me ask then, if you don’t think leadership handled it well, what would you have done? Run the lady through a wood chipper? “It’s the wood chipper for you, you sinner, you monster of iniquity!” Instantly tie her to a rocket sled to hell? Remember, if you were in leadership, the entire church body is looking at you and how you handle this situation as an example of how they should deal with their own stuff, and they also have stuff you and i don’t know about. What do you want to do? You do realize there is a world of people out there in your congregation who are also doing objectionable practices where no one can see. Oh, but, they didn’t get caught, and neither did you. But now you, in your moral superiority have caught an offender, now you’re going to make her pay? And then pay and pay until you are satisfied she’s bled enough? Do you think she has enough blood to satisfy your need to make her pay? If you can’t make that person pay enough, and leadership isn’t severe enough to satisfy you, do you decide “I just can’t be in the same congregation with a sinner like that!”? True, it’s not good to let it go unaddressed, it’s not good to demand she be stood up and publicly crucified, and it’s not good to cast her out because she’s has problems. i was under the impression that coming to Jesus for healing is what people with a sin problem do, right? What would you do?

On another note, at most Christian conferences, the local hotels all reflect that even though their occupancy rate goes up 98% or more, the X-rated adult movie rentals also soar upwards of 700% over normal rental frequency. Why are we so willing to crucify one person for a fault, when we are also part of the problem with our aiming finger of judgment? Sure, people will forgive small things as long as it doesn’t cost them much. Take note though, i didn’t say don’t deal with it, i’m just saying, although the problem is simple, not complicated, there certainly is more to it than rooting out a sinner. Having grace for our neighbor is excellent, but that same grace doesn’t let anyone off the hook for their behavior. Friends, if we go looking for sin and wrongness, i guarantee we will find it. i’d like us to set our eyes on finding righteousness and the fruits of the spirit in people instead. What do you think?

i know this doesn’t sound much like something Social Porter would say, but you know, sometimes even Social Porter can’t find a way to say “pick up your room, it’s a mess” without saying “pick up your room, it’s a mess.”  And again, think about it.

Kindness

 Kindness is not only what we do, but how we are and why we do what we do. As example, it is a kindness to listen, and a kindness to bury the dead. It’s the kind of virtue which affects everyone and was considered part of the Knight’s Code of Chivalry. When a judge passes sentence, it can be done with kindness, just like when a parent disciplines a child, it should be done with kindness.

Be kind to yourself … the Lord not only calls us to be kind to our neighbor, but also to ourselves. Think about it: if you had a friend who spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? So many of us are very unkind to ourselves. We condemn ourselves in the mirror with demeaning names which no one hears but us and God. The Lord doesn’t talk to you that way, so, why do you? Or maybe you imagine He speaks to you in a contemptuous voice but it’s not true. That’s the voice of hell or maybe your mothers voice, but it’s not the Lord. Maybe some of us have an attitude that says, “if i were God, i wouldn’t like me either” … but that’s not what the Lord does … He is kind and His kindness changes us.

It is a kindness to keep our word … not keeping our word is a subtle betrayal which isn’t something only common to enemies … it happens with the greatest frequency and impact with those closest to us. It is kind to be loyal, and kind to be honest yet still practicing kindness in our being honest.

Ruth kept her word and went with Naomi out of love. Boaz recognized her action as goodness in Ruth 2:11-12 and calls it kindness in Ruth 3:10, “Then he said, “Blessed are you of the LORD, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich.”

Wisdom says it is cruel to defame your family name and alternatively is a kindness to morally and ethically restrain yourself for the sake of a good name.

Webster’s Dictionary defines kindness as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. To me, when the world defines any of God’s attributes, it rarely is long enough, wide enough, or deep enough to accurately portray His Heart.

Simply put, Webster’s definition isn’t enough, the Lord’s kindness is bigger than that, it’s a personal quality, a character attribute of His in which we participate.           Contrary to the doom-sayers who seem to just love the concept of God as a finger pointing, raging, accuser, He is quite the opposite … God is kind, hospitable, and generous, even to sinners. He is also considerate in that if He were demanding and line drawing, as it was in the days of the law, none would survive and we would have no point in being born except to suffer and die, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Friends, let us see that the kindness of God leads us to repentance, Romans 2:4.

The topic is the Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness. It’s a huge topic but a very important one considering it reveals the heart of the Lord and is a gentle but indepth look at another of God’s details.

           Ruth 2:20, “Then Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, “May he be blessed by the LORD, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead!”

Surely we all know God shows His kindness to His people, but even to the dead? And who are the dead? Are they simply the ones who don’t breathe anymore? Just because people breathe and choose doesn’t mean they are alive. Living things begat livingness, and dead things begat dyingness.

Kindness is the power to lift up the fallen ones and those who are near to fainting in the heat of battle … it is having grace in the palm of your hands to pass out like candy from your pockets. Now that is so good, i’m going to say it again because i really want us to get it. This is truly important that we grasp this: Kindness is the power to lift up the fallen ones and those who are near to fainting in the heat of battle … it is having grace in the palm of your hands to pass out like candy from your pockets.

James 2:15-16, “If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you don’t give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?” Doing life like that sure makes us look pious, but kindness isn’t about how you look, and is evident in how we treat others.

Here’s another angle from God’s perspective: Kindness is an action where we extend our hands of grace to others. Do you hear it? Extended hands of grace. Is that you?

Although … it’s good to practice when we don’t feel like it because “the rules of getting it right” say we should, but it’s best when it’s a condition of our heart that performs acts of hope, help, rescue and deliverance. There is a marked difference between good and best.

i think most of us practice kindness when we’re feeling pretty good … that’s easy. Being kind to those we think “deserve” kindness, or what i call “privileged compassion” is effortless, meaning it is easy for us to be kind and compassionate to someone who we think deserves it. In an incredible scene from the 1998 film Pleasantville, the father of the TV-perfect Parker family returns home from work, comes in the door and says the magic words “Honey, I’m home!”, conjuring up the vision of a smiling wife, adorable children, and dinner on the table.

This time, though, it doesn’t work and his words just echo down the empty halls. No wife, no kids, no food. Confused, he repeats, “Honey, i’m home!”, as if he must have said the magic words incorrectly. Long silence, still nothing. After he looks all through his empty house, he wanders out into the rain … while standing there in a soaking wet suit and tie, rain running down his face, he mournfully questions this suddenly strange malfunctioning universe, saying with profound bewilderment, “Where’s my dinner?”

We can feel bad for the man, he is pitiful … afterall, sarcastically, he’s worked hard all day and it pulls at our heart strings to see his world falling apart … he is so privileged and deserves kindness, right? Just like any hard working man, he just wants his dinner. Sometimes we easily practice misplaced kindness and compassion.

Kindness is not the stooping down toward the underprivileged from a privileged position because we are so “up there” and they are so “down there” and we are lowering ourselves in arrogant condescension to help those poor lesser beings. It is not a reaching out from our high platform to those who are less fortunate below. It is not a gesture of pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull. On the contrary, kindness is going directly to those people and places where the disqualified, the poor and prodigal sons are and building relationships there.

We somehow conclude, by our own judgment using our own weights and measures, that the lifelong repeat offender deserves far less kindness than the person who’s only messed up their life a couple times. Many are inclined to practice kindness towards a fuzzy cute animal, but when it comes to other people, like the bankrupt and blind, it seems our hands are often pretty empty, if not just plain old closed. You know what i’m talking about, and it’s not about boundaries, it’s about how we lean in our heart towards God. When it’s part of our makeup and rises out of the overflow of our heart, even when we are down and broken, kindness still comes easily to our hand. Let this stick to you: Godly kindness flows out of the abundance of our heart, as it flows out of the abundance of God’s heart.

           Can we be kind without being compassionate? i believe it is not possible to act kindly and not be compassionate, unless it’s a total fake, like someone running for a political position and who needs to look kind today for the purposes of getting votes tomorrow. Doing acts of kindness and lacking compassion is no kindness at all but deception.

From the Hebrew words for kindness and compassion, there are, amazingly, words of grace which are linked by grace. Kindness is so intrinsic to the very character of God, that within the very word kindness is written the Names of God, which are powerful to break down strongholds and overcome darkness in high places. Within the word “compassion” there is the action of God for the sake of the Son, Jesus. Do you get that? Kindness and compassion are powerful to breakdown strongholds.

In 2 Chronicles 10 the people were burdened and grieved over taxes and governmental abuse, so the king took counsel with the older wisemen. They told the king in vs. 7, that if he would speak kindly to the people, and give them gentle words they would gladly serve him forever. Kindness and compassion are powerful persuaders.

i consider kindness and compassion like brothers, a team, verbs at their root which grew up to be masculine nouns … they go together and wherever you find one the other is nearby. When we practice kindness it is like we are giving to others the support which the Lord extends to us. Kindness describes an inward heart that bows before the Lord. i believe compassion and kindness drive each other … they both jump start, encourage and help each other, both being seen and unseen, revealed and concealed. When the “brothers” are concealed from others except for the recipients of their benefits, it is called “secret treasure”.

Luke 12:34, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” i say, if you can’t find your heart, go look to see where your treasure is, and i guarantee your heart is laying around there somewhere.

Kindness is concern for our neighbor … .it knocks on the door to check on others, visits the invalid, the widowed and shut-in … it is being compassionate toward the needy. Kindness, out of compassion, gives of itself to others and helps to bring them into a redeeming relationship with the Lord.

Now as the Hebrews see it, and from God’s perspective, in the middle of the word for kindness is the root word for “goodness” which is an inspiration for repentance. Ha! Now isn’t that interesting! That the Lord accepts our repentance is a kindness, afterall, His kindness leads us to repentance. When we practice kindness and compassion, goodness, the goodness of God is enlarged in the eyes of the world, and as we know the goodness of God is like an axle to a wheel, it is central to everything which goes on with the wheel.

Leviticus 19:18, “You shall love your fellowman as yourself.” By observation, i believe long standing isolation neutralizes… literally opposes life …  it interferes with our relationship with God … . kindness and compassion work to relieve the agony of those who feel abandoned, rejected, isolated and alone. With compassion always at the side of kindness, the truth will always prevail. Jesus was compassionate and kind, He prevailed and was more than a conqueror. He is the living personification of truth, kindness and compassion … they are alive because He is alive and sitting at the right hand of the Father Almighty.

Kindness and compassion always end up pointing to the King of Kings, are always inclined to teach others of the Lord’s purposes. They both are a thing of the heart, and if it’s faked, it’s called betrayal. Funny how when someone fakes kindness or compassion, others just seem to somehow “know” it’s not real and they tend to hold the poser in contempt. Even the world resents false compassion and kindness.

Kindness is NOT random, it isn’t something that just sort of “happens”, nor is it done without method or conscious decision. According to God, kindness and compassion never “just happen”, in fact, nothing “just happens”. i kind of doubt there is any such thing as “random kindness” because actually, kindness is very purposeful and intentional. There is only one God and His name is Yahweh, Father, Son, Holy Ghost and it is a kindness that we are included with Him.

            Where to begin with practicing kindness? How about being kind to ourselves as a place to start? When we are demeaning to the person in the mirror it’s more damaging and long lasting than if someone punched us in the face. I really do believe that. That sort of self-talk can whittle you down to your core, and make you believe things that are simply NOT TRUE. All because you told yourself such darkness, and allowed yourself to believe in the foolishness the enemy has gladly doled out. If God has thrown our sins as far as east is from west when we’ve accepted Christ’s atonement for our sins, why do we keep reminding ourselves of all our wrong? Is God’s goodness to us just too good to be true? Is it a point of us not having any worth? God says we were worth dying for, and who am i to re-decide what God has called truth?

By no means am i saying we should let ourselves off the hook of being responsible for our actions, but when we have made things right between ourselves and God, be at peace with others as much as is possible, and stop beating yourself up, stop doing penance. Stop it! Be kind to yourself. If you make a mistake, stop cursing yourself in the mirror. Think again, if someone spoke to you like you speak to yourself, how long would you let that person remain in your life? Don’t you know the enemy loves, i mean, LOVES it when we are stuck on what a failure we are instead of how blessed we are in Christ. Jesus has paid our debt, and the enemy wants you to bleed and bleed and bleed until he decides you have bled enough. Did Jesus bleed enough for you? And if He did, then be kind to yourself and move on. Did Jesus suffer enough for you? If He did, be kind to yourself and move on. Did Jesus die enough for you? If He did, then who is it who reminds us hourly of all the things we have done wrong? It’s not God, that’s for sure.

Byron Wicker writes a weekly article usually. One week his article was titled, “Judas Come Home. All is Forgiven” … i remember thinking it was such a peculiar thing to say. The article was partly inspired by a book titled, “The Gospel According To Judas”, by Ray S. Anderson. Pastor Wicker wrote, “I did not even get past this first sentence in the prologue when I read what the author was telling me. I saw it in the men’s restroom in a restaurant in San Francisco, printed in block letters with a blue felt tip pen across the top of the mirror: JUDAS COME HOME – ALL IS FORGIVEN!”

“When I read that phrase it was like someone stuck a red-hot sword into my heart. All the memories from my own “Judas days” came into my mind. I remembered the feelings of rejection, loneliness and not having a place I could call home. I also begin to think about all the people I knew who had lost face in the church and suffered rejection, shame and eventually left.”

“Then I heard a whisper from Heaven saying to all the Judas’ out there, “Come home all is forgiven, I love you”. That little phrase really broadened my revelation of the Father’s heart and love toward us. It made me want to go to everyone I knew that had stepped into dishonor, lost face and run way and tell them, “Come home, all is forgiven, the Father loves you.” This is what Judas was trying to tell me – it was about how big the Father’s heart really is.”

“In the epilogue of the book Ray gives us a wonderful picture of the love and grace of the Lord. The Lord says, “My choosing of you counts more than your betrayal of Me!” Through His grace I discovered that the calling of God by which we become children of the kingdom does not rest upon our faith alone, but upon His faithfulness toward us.”

When you look in the mirror, do you see the eyes of Judas, the eyes of a traitor, a failure, the eyes of a reprobate staring back at you? That’s not what God says about you. We need to get this DOWN IN OUR HEADS, the Lord says we are a new creation in Christ in 2 Cor5:17, and “new” means “new”, not mostly or pretty much. The Lord says again in 2Cor5:21, “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be the righteousness of God in Christ.”

Is it still considered kindness, not when it is a free offering on our part, but as a demand of obligation by someone else? Maybe, but i question how long can we sustain forced kindness when it’s not what’s in our heart? It is a kindness the Lord includes us, the greater includes the lesser, and we are to live a life of kindness and compassion in the same way Jesus did. Not because we “have to” as if someone demanded it of us, and not for the reasons of “following the rules”, being legally bound due to an obligation of some sort, but because kindness and compassion are intrinsic to our character.

Psalm 86:15 “But You, O Lord, are a God full of kindness, compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.”

           Colossians 3:12-13, “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another…”.

The apostle Paul linked kindness to compassion and humility; it’s linked to enduring with each other and not thinking more highly of ourselves than we should …  to being graceful to each other , exercising forgiveness. Kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit, one of the ear marks of how we know we are in the beloved. Some think of themselves as true believers yet don’t display, as an inner reflection of their true selves, any of the signs of true kinship in Christ. Now, you may think that is an odd thing to say, but there are many in the church who, by their actions and attitude, you might never know they are believers. So, i figure the following is a pretty good question: How should kindness be “shown” or proved without works? You know how James 2:26 says faith without works is dead, well i say that, additionally, kindness without works is dead also.

Having a heart in which mercy resides is kindness. Luke 1:78-79, “Through the heartfelt mercies of our God, God’s Sunrise will break in upon us, Shining on those in the darkness, those sitting in the shadow of death, Then showing us the way, one foot at a time, down the path of peace.”

Do you know what your “epistemology” is? Epistemology is the study of knowing “what” you believe, “how” you came to that conclusion, and “why” you think it’s the best perspective. We can’t come to own solid epistemological doctrine by only looking at what suits us. If we’re truly interested in what God has to say, we’ve got to look further than our own rhetoric. If we never look beyond our own backyard, our own backyard is all we’ll ever see and we’ll never see the green shoots of grace at our neighbors’ house. Knowing the heart of the Lord and understanding the fruits and gifts of the Spirit is part of our epistemology. i want to know what the Lord means when He says “kindness” is part of our character … it’s is more than just being “nice”.  “Nice” is very subjective, so “kindness” must be defined by someone higher and bigger than ourselves, and i don’t mean your pastor, i mean the Lord, who IS the standard.

The Lord not only empathizes with us, He sympathizes with us. Not only does he help us when we are down and out, but He joins us in our troubles to bring us out. Isaiah 63:9, “In all their affliction He was afflicted, And the Angel of His Presence saved them; In His love and in His pity He redeemed them; And He bore them and carried them All the days of old.”

The Lord’s kindness is from everlasting to everlasting, like His mercies never come to an end. Isaiah 54:10, “For the mountains shall depart And the hills be removed, But My kindness shall not depart from you, Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,” Says the LORD, who has mercy on you.”

i know two values that occur in the mystery of suffering: the first value is that all things get reduced to their lowest common denominator, and the second is that in the school of affliction, God turns our pain into kindness and compassion if we’ll let Him.

Honestly, i heard a man pray this morning thanking God for his suffering and the lessons he’d learned. It frightened me for a moment, but really, if that’s where we have to go to know the Lord, then that’s the best direction any one could ever take. The Lord is compassionate and kind to us and will not grind us to powder with trials. Think about, and even, amen, that’s a big “think about it” right there.

The caste system was originally based on someone’s idea of the necessary steps in order to be holy. From what i’ve read, there wasn’t much kindness and compassion, it was stiff and stringent, and there was often a lot of self-administered affliction. i’ve never read that Jesus ever did anything like that. He was kind to Himself and to others, and that very same kindness restructured the lives of others. We need to learn how to “sing the tears” of compassion when we extend our hands of grace to the needy. We often affirm our friendships with cards & trinkets of endearment, but our time would certainly be better spent if we maintained those relationships with the kindness of time given, gentle words, and encouragement.

This fruit of the Spirit, kindness, our extended hands of grace is essential to our character, it is foundational to whatever impact we make, everywhere we go, green grass grows. Practice, practice, practice, and the more often we are kind and compassionate, the more often we will be kind and compassionate. It’s not just doing or saying nice things, it is the contents of our heart given away in the action of our lives.

Drive carefully this week, be kind to yourself and your neighbor. We’ve tried being harsh and accusing to ourselves, and thus far, it’s not gone well. Let’s try something different like kindness and compassion, speaking words of peace and encouragement to the person in the mirror instead. Rejoice, Jesus knows your name, and i’ll talk to you next time. Amen and amen.