“I Don’t Care” (Indifference)

i read somewhere that apathy or indifference is a form of spiritual disengagement, lukewarmness, a state of spiritual slumber. It’s not simply a lack of knowledge or laziness, but a deeper indifference towards spiritual things, often rooted in neglecting God’s love and forgetting His promises. Apathy means “I don’t care.” It’s not the same as ignorance (“I don’t know”), complacency (“I am satisfied with my current status”), or laziness (“I don’t want to do anything”).

Romans 12:11, “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.” Also, pay attention to Hebrews 12:1b. “…lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” We must participate with the Lord in order for change to occur believing that change is not beyond our control.

A young woman was arguing with her mother in the kitchen before school one morning over something or other. It’s not important why they were arguing, but more focusing on the young woman’s attitude (“attitude” meaning “how you lean in your heart”). Every time her mother would point out an attitude that needed more consideration, the young woman began to flip her hair and dismissively said, “I don’t care.” The more her mother tried to press her points the more the young woman claimed indifference. “I don’t care, mom!” she yelled.

I don’t care? Really? As believers, here’s a question: Is God indifferent? About anything? Ever? If we say we are living like Jesus and want to be like Him, and God is not indifferent, then neither should we. Indifference, or as the Bible calls it “apathy” or “being apathetic” has far reaching consequences.

The folks at Bible Pathways make two very good points:

  1. Indifference represents a complete disregard for the needs and suffering of others.” “Disregard” may seem a bit harsh but, somewhere there the word disregard is absolutely applicable. Think. In order to be “indifferent” we must disregard the needs of others or ourselves. Is that a good idea? No.
  2. General apathy leads to spiritual apathy in believers, hindering good connection with God and others.” Did you get that? Apathy dulls our ability to connect with God and others. Now hear this — a little apathy inspires a little more apathy, and the more we are apathetic, the easier it gets to be apathetic. We are Christians who are in hard pursuit of God and His values, so in our modern society, being apathetic can have profound consequences. Is that a good idea? No.

Imagine … one day apathy comes to visit, at first posing as a friend. Then, to our frustration, decides to stay, camping out in the living room, making a gradual mess of everything and constantly stinking up the bathroom. More and more, apathy carelessly tosses soda cans on the floor, sprinkles food crumbs and empty candy wrappers everywhere. Apathy becomes absent-minded as to the well being of the house. Then begins a long string of heedless, irresponsible, reckless behaviors that makes us sorry we ever let apathy in the door.

Psalm 73:12, “Behold, these are the wicked; always at ease, they increase in riches.” Often in the Bible there are words used to point out indifference or apathy, words like “at ease”, “sleep” or “slumber”, and references to “the lazy”.

Thus, we gradually start to “wander away”. That is “wander away” in the sense of James 5:19, which is also translated as “led astray”. Did we wake up one day simply indifferent or was there something greater which “leads us astray”? Do you see it? Inch by inch, little by little, our apathy or indifference influences our faith, until one day, we wake up and realize we’re in real trouble and wonder, “How did I get way over here?”

In Lamentations 1:12, the writer notices passersby are indifferent to their suffering and sorrow. “Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by?” Rest assured, God has been addressing our tendencies toward apathy when, from the beginning, things are difficult.

So, what are we really saying when we claim indifference? Are we playing our “go along to get along” card, as in — others don’t seem to care, so I won’t either? Is it more that something is too painful to talk about, so in an effort to not deal with our internal conflicts we claim indifference? You do realize the longer we don’t deal with our conflicts the more we will resemble our conflicts. The doctor wisely advises the patient to stop drinking, but the patient retreats to their typical dismissive posture and claims, “I don’t care!” To me the patient is saying, in so many words, “don’t bother me, I’ve heard it a thousand times before. I’ve tried to quit over and over and failed, so i just resign to slowly killing myself.” i call that death on the installment plan. “I don’t care.”

How often, looking deep within ourselves with all honesty, how often does “i don’t care” actually mean “i don’t care”? After all, the only people who truly don’t care, having a through and through “care-less attitude”, are sociopaths and psychopaths. Think about it.

For me, often my problem was not that i was indifferent, but more i cared about everything so much I was burdened. So in an effort to escape my burden i claimed indifference, choosing apathy instead of empathy. In the claim of being indifferent, did i actually escape the weight of my affliction? No. My internal conflict was still there and the truth is I was still burdened by the weight by which I was so easily knocked off my feet. The truth is i did actually care, but there was something wrong with the way I was dealing with life.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

25+ years ago the Lord began to address my apathy, my conflict of being indifferent. Over time i began to get the idea that i needed to re-think what was important rather than claim indifference. In the course of a couple weeks i went from pretending apathy to realizing and properly weighing what was of most importance to the least important. i was learning to prioritize. It was not that i didn’t care if someone remembered my name, but that it was not a great, pressing priority. If the name of Jesus is the most important name in the universe, then it’s obviously more important people know Jesus, not me. It’s not that we shouldn’t care what happens to the poor but more what level of importance does God assign it, and isn’t it more important that we align with God’s purposes?

Let us not “wander away”, or slumber when we need to pay attention. God never, EVER calls us to disregard others or to be indifferent. He is not indifferent or apathetic about anything and neither should we.

i’m Social Porter with Living In His Name Ministries.

Joy

Joy. You can’t buy it at the store, it doesn’t come in cans, boxes, easy applicators, bags, or sacks. It isn’t gotten with some easy 1-2-3, step-by-step method. Joy – so where does real joy come from?

Heaven is in no short supply of joy, it’s an abundant commodity available to anyone willing to believe on the name of Jesus. Sounds simple, and, well, actually … it is, we simply have to be willing to put our shoulder into faith in God. Sometimes easier said than done, but for millions, God has made a way to do just that. Let me add though, i’m almost always suspicious anytime someone uses the words, “If you’ll just…”, or “You simply have to….”, or “If we would only…” minimizing the thing to be done, making it seem easier to accomplish than it really is. One of the by-products of that faith-effort is joy, the joy of the Lord Himself. How do we get it? i’ll add that the luminary of my spirit, soul, and eyes gives the light of joy to my heart.

          In Psalm 43:4 the psalmist is so overwhelmed at the goodness of God he’s willing to pickup an instrument and sing songs of praise and worship.
Then I will go to the altar of God, To God my exceeding joy; And on the harp I will praise You, O God, my God.” The Lord Himself is our joy. He is life changing, over the top, beyond all hopes and dreams, and past all expectations. That all sounds amazingly wonderful, but i suppose we’ve got to ask a question of ourselves: do we have it? What is joy to you? i took a moment to look up “joy” in the Merriam-Webster dictionary which said, “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires”. Honestly, that seemed kind of narrow to me. Does being a success at something give you joy? Of course, but what if God means for the idea of “joy” to be a part of us all the time and every day, even when things aren’t well with us and it isn’t dependent on the work of our hands? i believe His intent is that we would still have “joy” even in challenging circumstances. i do “enjoy” the work of my hands, but is there something more to joy that is deeper, longer lasting, and more a part of our foundation than just the joy of having what we want, or things merely going well for us.

          ! IF ! in the foundations of our heart “joy” is something which comes and goes, on again/off again as we succeed and fail, it would seem to not really hold to the idea of “joy” as God intended it, but more as men would describe “fun”. Do we, as adults, “enjoy” life because we have “joy”, or do we have “fun”? It may seem a subtle difference here, but 1000 yards away it’s a wide variance. It would seem “joy” is the mature version of what would otherwise by the juvenile “fun”. Don’t get me wrong here, i like having fun like the next person. i mean, i love a good rollercoaster! It’s fun, that is … as long as the ride lasts, and then it isn’t fun. But when i enjoy myself, it is joy which lasts and lasts. “Fun” rises and falls, it’s erratic, but “joy” is a constant. i wonder … is joy a vacuum in our hearts, but we’re so busy having “fun” we don’t realize that there is a hollow spot where joy should be? And everyday we look for better “fun” than yesterday, for if today’s “fun” doesn’t eclipse yesterdays fun, then many consider life dull and unhappy. Let’s think about that! If that is how we think of joy, then i believe we’ve completely misunderstood God and need to realize “joy” is not about “fun”.

Quite some time ago, my son came to me when i got home from work and asked, “Dad, did you have fun today?” It was a simple question from a young man wanting to engage his father in some conversation, but in the moment, something clicked in my head and i realized, i don’t have fun, but i enjoy and find joy in everything i do. i wondered when did i start enjoying all of my life, and when was the last time i had “fun”? i enjoy mowing the lawn and i have a rising joy when i sit on the porch in the evening watching the sun go down, smelling the fresh mowed lawn. Sitting on the porch, smelling the fresh cut grass and watching the sun go down isn’t fun, but it is certainly an enjoyable thing. And the memory of those times is joy all over again. It appears to me “fun” is in the moment, it is here and gone again, and today’s measure of fun is based on our evaluation of yesterdays fun. If we had more fun yesterday than today, many people don’t consider themselves to have had fun today. Do you understand what i’m saying? God has done something in our hearts concerning “joy” that is so invasive to all our being, that “joy” enters in to all our affairs, and His joy just stays, and stays, and stays and it’s always on a steady rising incline, unlike fun which oscillates from moment to moment. For me, yesterday’s joy didn’t fade by the time today got here, it’s still here, and getting better all the time, always on the increase. My joy isn’t dependent on a thing or another human being, my joy is completely tied to Jesus, and because He is consistent and always increasing in glory, my joy is consistent and always increasing also. Real Joy comes from God alone. It is a result of the Holy Spirit being in us as seen in the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23

In Psalm 5:11 “But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; Let those also who love Your name Be joyful in You.” In Psalm 16:11 it says in God’s presence there is joy for ever and ever. What if i read that inserting “fun” in place of “joy”? It would read, In God’s presence there is fun for ever and ever. That totally doesn’t work, it sounds too much like a carnival or circus act. Psalm 48:2 says the city of God, the city of His presence is the joy of the whole earth. Wow! What a place. Joy is definitely something i want, don’t you? i mean, why would anyone not want the joy God offers all who will simply respond to His invitation to believe in Him, turn from their own self-centered agenda, and eat at His table? i don’t know about you but i’m not really interested in something i have to keep reinventing every day like fun, i’d like something more permanent and consistent like joy. And you know what, God has lots, and lots of it, and absolutely loves to give joy to those who want it! When God looks at us and says we are His children, the joy of His heart, He said we are the “joy” of His heart, not the “fun” of His heart.

Psalm 33:18-22 from the Message Bible, “Watch this: God’s eye is on those who respect him, the ones who are looking for his love. He’s ready to come to their rescue in bad times; in lean times he keeps body and soul together. We’re depending on GOD; he’s everything we need. What’s more, our hearts brim with joy since we’ve taken for our own his holy name. Love us, GOD, with all you’ve got— we are depending on you with all our heart.

Think about it.

Wormwood

Mara. Bitterness. Wormwood.

Deuteronomy 29:18, “Beware lest there be among you a man or woman or clan or tribe whose heart is turning away today from the LORD our God to go and serve the gods of those nations. Beware lest there be among you a root that beareth bitterness and wormwood;”

Bitterness can be a root in our hearts which drives all of our intentions, ideas, and decisions. It can influence our emotional capital so strongly, we find abundant reasons to turn away from right, and justify wrong. Beyond sad, it is more than merely being disappointed … beyond the horizon of grief — it is all those things with a vengeance, striking and snapping at all that’s around us.

Bitterness grips our thinking like waves, constantly washing in and out, pulverizing our dreams and healthy hopes. The writer of Lamentations used the word bitterness in Lamentations 3:15 in a way which says it’s like a tidal wave in our head with an attitude of an eye-for-an-eye with revenge. In Ruth 1:20, the word for bitterness or “mara”, ends in a Hebrew letter which paints a picture of something that grips in a full fisted grip, all our senses, twisting our sense of taste so that everything tastes bad, our impressions of odors only noting the offensiveness, accenting touch to recognize only the rough and indelicate textures in relationships, persuading our eyes to see all of life’s hard featured attributes, and all that’s wrong with everything. It filters our auditory functions to only focus on everything unkind and discouraging. Bitterness is powerful to narrow God’s goodness from our perception, inspiring revenge, spite, spiritual starvation, and social deprivation leaving us alone in a dark prison cell only reserved for violent offenders.

Offense and disappointment are always sending us invitations in the mail and knocking on the door of our heart, and if allowed in our house, they will germinate to grow more of themselves, taking root everywhere.

i met a man who said he had a dream, and in the dream he was in his living room. There, growing right in the middle was a big, ugly, horrible smelling tree, and it’s big oozing, knotted roots ran into every room, so much so he said he couldn’t hardly walk. He said the branches with gnarled, twisted little leaves draped over the windows, casting long shadows, and had gotten into the water supply so water wouldn’t easily flow from the faucets. He said it was awful, just awful and he woke up feeling like he was suffocating.

After some extended conversation, he mentioned his long running anger at God because his mother had unexpectedly died, but he wouldn’t let his anger stop. He perpetuated it, constantly revisiting the disappointment, and the more he thought about it all the more he thought about it all, until he resented the Lord for, in his words, “letting this happen”, blaming God, over and over until his resentment colored all his thinking, all his breathing, and all his feeling. Yes, even his unconscious thoughts and actions. i believe the dream was from the Lord painting a picture of how bitterness had been allowed to grow in his heart and head, and had become so invasive, it had taken over every room in the house, even blocking life giving water and light.

i’d say, that’s pretty accurate. Bitterness, or wormwood, if allowed to fester like a rotting wound, can kill you as the final action at a most bitter end.

One writer calls this form of ultimate self-centeredness to be like, “a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage, resulting in frenzied, joyless grabs for happiness filled with trinket gods and magic-show religion.” He wrote that “bitterness drives paranoid loneliness, all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants, a brutal temper and chainsaw styled judgment. Eventually, we’ll find ourselves cornered in divided homes, divided vision, divided lives, and small-minded, lopsided pursuits with a vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into being a rival.”

A fellow told me once that unforgiveness is hell-bent sin. i didn’t get it until years later when i found myself tied and gagged by offense, disappointment, and bitterness. The Lord said to me, straight out, plain as day, “You can be free of all that, but you’ll have to let go of some stuff.” He pointed out that it wasn’t my job to fix the other person, but to deal with my own things. i had to buy into forgiveness, and i mean really buy into it with all your heart. We’ve got to see, realize, and recognize the places we’ve allowed our flesh to gain power over our spirit, and get back our relish for righteous things. Not “what’s wrong with them?, “if they would only…. then i would” thus and such, but “where am i in this mess?”

God can free you of bitterness and wormwood. His solution is for us to gain a heart of thankfulness, being thankful for grace, living in it’s flow so much so it overflows to others. We may have to get counseling as to not “what” is going on with us, but “why” can’t we let it go. The love of God is overwhelming, but we really do need to be honest about ourselves, and let His abundant grace and forgiveness overflow us. Ask the Lord for help to get free. He hears you and He will, He will, He will answer. When He does, go with God, He knows the way out of the jungle of bitterness and disappointment which may very well have taken over your house.

What do you think?

Home

Home: a place of residence or refuge. For believers, home may mean not only the place we live while here on earth, the physical place as in “Home is where you hang your hat”, but Heaven, our end place with Jesus, as in “Home is where the heart is”. The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can be as we are, wearing only one face and no facades. i think everyone is looking for home in some way or another, it is a quiet ache or persistent longing that tugs at even the hardest of hearts … and everyone has an idea of “home” that is unique to them. For some it may be sitting on a porch swing, swaying and creaking back and forth under summer stars, yet for others it is among kind friends and smiling faces, the smell of familiar bread, a laugh that fits just right. As we search for “home” we weave through memories, chasing belonging and connecting. i think these days there are many who hope for “home” but don’t find “home” nor do they know how. Maybe it’s the last place they felt safe, but i must add, in this world real, bonafide safety is fleeting and getting harder to hold.

i think we’re searching for “home” even when we don’t know we’re searching for “home”, it can seem endless and daunting, our restless heart not quite finding where we fit or belong, you know, that place where we connect. Belonging and connecting are two essential attributes for identifying “home”. How do you know when you’re home? In this earthly life we’re told home is a place which feels right – cozy, and a place of our own. Friends, to me, where ever Jesus is, there is home, and if we think we’re in Heaven and Jesus isn’t there, it is hell. It seems so many are looking for “home” and don’t know it. Some say they have found their home, a heaven of their own making. Again, i say if you think you’ve found Heaven and God isn’t there, it must be hell. God is at home, it’s we who have gone out for a long, lonely walk.

In a song by a well known artist, some of the lyrics are “Traveling at night, The headlights were bright. But soon the sun came through the trees. Around the next bend, The flowers will send The sweet smell of home in the breeze”, and “Home, Sings me of sweet things. Life there has it’s own wings.”. Is the idea of “home” one of peace to you? Should be. If home to you is a terrifying thought, i suggest it’s not really your home. For many, we love the IDEA of home, but we’ve realized with hand wringing grief, the place we really live will never be that place.

i suppose a more basic question should be, Are you at peace? Is home a place of refuge and rest, a place where you can be restored and recharged? Your sanctuary? Or is home a place of conflict and contention? Where is home to you? And if you don’t have one, imagine, what home would look like?

i’m Social Porter and this is Outposts, a semi-live broadcast from the late evening, cascading banks of the Ockluhwahhah River. It’s a beautiful evening and the stars are out in all their splendor.

Imagine with me a moment. Get comfortable, breath in and out slowly and let your mind clear. See this: It’s evening. You’re on a familiar road which stretches ahead, the road hums beneath the tires, each mile marker a heartbeat closer to home. You ride past an occasional house with a warm interior glow here and there — trees and signs are a blur. Imagine getting closer, streetlights are coming more often, seeming to guide the way with an almost ghostly light. Just follow the light home. Anticipation builds — the comfort, warmth, and loved ones wait just beyond the bend. The journey’s end promises rest, a soft bed, and the sweet relief of being where you belong. Almost there.

The words, “almost home” brings vivid memories to mind for me. After being gone on one particular mission trip, for some reason, though short, it was the one which really pulled at my heart more than any others. My heart literally ached for home. After 21 days, 18 restaurants, 31 remote villages with untold amounts of prayer and all the wonderful God-stories, after all the taxi’s, the busses, and the miles and miles of walking, i was almost home.

The plane bounced incessantly over the next 24 hours. It seemed the sun was almost where i last saw it when we took off. People slept with the shades pulled low, tired people, restless people, all trying to get comfortable in a very narrow space. The lady next to me read 2 books, slept some more and then read a third book. A little hole over my head blew cool air; food and snacks came and went. Yet through all that, my mind was thoughts like — “I’m almost home. My heart aches for home. i just want to go home.”

Man, there’s no place like our house, my shalom place, past the barns, past the fields, up on the front porch and in the old door. Ahhhh … wow, i’m home. The couch is softer, the bed is sweeter, the shower runs just the way i like it, the smell is intoxicating, the embraces are more tender, oh, and the loved ones, smiling, hugging, affectionate. i’m so glad to be home. From property line to property line, from fence to fence, that is my Shalom place, the Kingdom of Heaven field office where we live. A place of divine appointment, under the complete protection of God Himself. A place of peace, even in the midst of terrible turmoil around me, this is my refuge. Do you have a Shalom place, a place of belonging and connecting?

As a little sidebar, i think it’s important to speak about two very valuable attributes of the idea of home: belonging and connecting. They are not the same. Belonging and connecting, though intertwined like two strings woven together, are each distinct. Belonging is the state of being part of a group, possibly an identity where we may hopefully get acceptance, as seen in biblical communities like the early church, Acts 2:42-47. Connecting, however, requires the consistent employment of a dreaded word in our society today: Honesty. Connecting requires active engagement and conversation, and not just one conversation like it’s one-and-done. That’s not connecting, that’s more like a skipping stone. Connecting is more the idea of emotional bonds through shared experiences like in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. Anybody can belong to a family of some sort, or a church, or a local club yet feel completely disconnected, present but emotionally isolated, missing intimate ties but we don’t typically know that’s what is missing. For example, the Israelites belonged to God’s covenant but often felt distant from Him. Psalm 137:1-6, they belonged to God but felt far from Him and disconnected. Or how about in Luke 15, when the younger brother came to himself and returned home, he and the father went in the house to rejoice and left the angry, smoldering older brother out in the front yard mumbling to himself. The older brother was “of the family”, he had belonging, but he was not “in the house”, he didn’t connect. People, in general, who do NOT belong and/or connect in some fashion are the saddest, loneliest, most broken people ever and they wander like ghosts on the face of the earth, hopeless and homeless. Friends, it’s not necessary. God has a better idea.

True connection, unlike passive belonging, demands intentional effort to build relationships, fulfilling our heart’s longing for closeness. Belonging and connecting is not passively gained. Ok, that’s enough about belonging and connecting….

Being at home where we live is wonderful. If I can feel so welcomed and so wanted in an imperfect world, through an imperfect family, in an imperfect house, what must heaven be like — a perfect kingdom, through a perfect Father, in a perfect dwelling.

In John 14:1-4 Jesus was speaking of home, and then in verses 26-27 Jesus made sure to leave them with some encouragement until they got home, He said, “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Like the disciples, there are some things about our heavenly home you and I really need to know, starting with the truth that our Heavenly Home Is Real.

Hebrews 11:10 speaks of Abraham who, “… was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.” i believe that if Abraham was looking forward to it he was certainly imagining and dreaming about it before he was looking forward to his future destination. Where did he get those ideas? Imagining was before, and looking forward to something means he held it as the truth. His ideas and imaginations were not about where he was, past tense, but where he was going to be, with the verb “to be” pointing to his existence, his coming into being or becoming, his identity or abiding, and his state of being with God. The very powerful yet simple little verb “to be”, as expressed in the phrase “looking forward to”, linked him to his very essence, the roles he may play and the conditions he will live and breath in. Abraham’s descendants were also thinking about home as seen in Hebrews 11:15-16, “If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they desired, and were longing for a better country–a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.” Going back to where they came from was not even in their thinking, but where they were going to was the object of all their considerations. To “long for” or “desire” in this case means to stretch or reach for, as in a heartfelt yearning and being hopeful. The word itself, “desire” or “long for”, brings with it the sense of someone climbing a mountain, and the closer they get to the top, the more hope of attaining a goal lifts their hearts. So, in Heb11:16, to say, “they longed for a better country,” is to say that they had a glimpse of where God was taking them, they had a vision enough of the top of the mountain that they were excited about attaining to their goal. In Exodus 16:3 the Israelites longed for the Promised Land, Psalm 137:5-6 the Psalmist was homesick for Jerusalem. Home.

As believers, our eyes are set towards home with Jesus. Hebrews 13:14, “For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come”, and how about 2 Peter 3:13, “But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.”

Are you longing for, looking forward to, looking for “home”? i read a quote by a sorta famous fellow who said, “America cannot continue to lead the family of nations around the world if we suffer the collapse of the family here at home.” And that is “home” as in more than just a house, but a place where family lives, where familiar pictures are hung, and the place of our personal things and memories. Home not only includes all that but can also include familiar geography, streets and stores, faces of shop owners and weekly workman and women we grew up knowing. Home.

i was thinking this morning during my prayer time, so much of the American home idealogy is under incredible attack. We say a truth …our nation needs to be on track with God, but it starts in a much smaller and unique environment, our homes. If our homes and families are not on track with God, then hell has done it’s job and disrupted us at our core. Home is truly where our heart is, it’s where our treasure is, and, again to reiterate, if home is a shambles and God is not there, all i can conclude is, what we call Heaven must be hell. If in our homes we are always at odds with our spouse over power, money, or sex (and it seems it is truly always one or the other or any combination there of), if we’re always at odds, our home, sweet home, comfortable sacred home, our sanctuary is at war with itself, and we all understand this, that no nation divided against itself can stand. Selah!

Home – Through the Hebrew we get a word picture of home. It is seen through the idea of a dwelling place, a house, but with family and community attached to it, even including those who are socially bound together under one roof. That says to me a it’s a dwelling place with others of whom we relate to. Home, where we eat and relax and we can hopefully, be who we are with as few facades as possible.

In light of that, we can easily conclude that at least 50% of homes in America are not a refuge or a sanctuary, in fact it would seem they are chaotic and conflicted. If the divorce rate is at least 50%, and that is truly much too low, then the idea of home has been, and is being sabotaged at least 50% of the time. Hell is striking at the heart of mankind by breeding destruction in the very center of our sanctuary, our individual homes. At that rate, i’d say there are far, far more people who are homeless in their heart and mind than we can imagine. They aren’t belonging, they don’t connect, and their friends seem like no friends at all. Don’t you know? Belonging and connection are fundamental to all our well-being, it’s where we find shared purpose. i like that, “shared purpose”. Belonging and connecting within our community was God’s idea and design, and His purpose was for us to have support, accountability, transparency without fear of reprisal for merely being ourselves, and being grounded with love as our bond, like in John 13:34-35. We are not only made in God’s image, but His image AND reflection, similar to God inside and out, and it’s always personal and relational.

This is important so listen: Home isn’t the building but who inhabits the building. Having a dwelling place is one thing, but having a home is another. Edward Whiting said “You can no more measure a home by inches, or weigh it by ounces, than you can set up the boundaries of a summer breeze, or calculate the fragrance of a rose. Home is the love which is in it.”

i think Mr. Whiting was on to something there. If home is measured by the love which is in it, then Jesus and Heaven are obviously the highest choice. The Love of God exceeds and excels beyond our wildest imagination. God Himself and His house are our destination, not just because it is a place to live, but because of who lives there.

If Heaven wasn’t a “place” Jesus wouldn’t have said so in John 14:3. Heaven and our home are not a “spiritual condition” or a “state of being” but a place where Jesus is. God has created us to take pleasure in His companionship, and in each other’s. Home isn’t a solitary existence, there are others in Heaven, or at Home, and we can relate to that great cloud of witnesses. It is a family. All things will be right at home with Jesus – no abortion clinics or mental hospitals, no missing children, no rape, no murder, no drug addictions, no swindlers, no robberies, no worry, depression, illness, failure, or miscommunications. No hidden agendas, no politics or backroom deals, no secret ambitions, plots, hatred, or condescension. Can you imagine sitting and eating with God Almighty, mealtimes full of stories, laughing, singing, maybe a game of touch football in the backyard sometimes. Can you imagine such happiness without fear of being judged or measured, no lust or jealousy, no inappropriateness or hurt feelings? Can you imagine that? My heart aches for home, how about you?

One woman wrote, “It’s been easy for me through the years to find fault in the house we’ve lived in for the past eleven years.  Our abode is well over 100 years old. That means it has a lot of “character” right? Yes. If by “character” you mean that the toilets don’t flush well, the basement looks like the Adam’s Family lives there, and the dust from the Dirty Thirties is still stuck in crevices around each of our fifty drafty windows. That’s how I look at my house when I have a self-focused perspective. The world tells me I need new, shiny, perfect, better, best, improved, highest quality, and spotless.”

“Pinterest tells me I need my home and the contents therein to look as though they climbed out of a magazine – completely unique, yet altogether trendy (how it can be trendy and unique at the same time is beyond me). We must have the right color scheme, a lovely furniture arrangement all set up in a proper pose like movie props, and classy wall decor. Otherwise, we must feel guilty, deprived, and less than. What if we just decided to be thankful instead? i am thankful for where i live, and infinitely grateful to God for where i shall live. We can’t allow ourselves to judge where we will be by where we are, for no man can hold a candle to the things God has prepared for those who love Him.

The Lord is calling us to look above our view of where we live to see a greater vision, one which He has made for us beyond this world of brick and mortar, beyond the have and have not’s to see Jesus. Friends, if there is vision then there is provision, and if there is vision and provision, there is most certainly preparation. Let us cease to obsessively focus on where we are but begin to look to where we are going.

Jonathan Edwards wrote of Heaven: “No inhabitants of that blessed world will ever be grieved with the thought that they are slighted by those whom they love, or that their love is not fully and fondly returned. There shall be no such thing as flattery or insincerity in Heaven, but there perfect sincerity shall reign through all in all. Everyone will be just what they seem to be, and they’ll really have all the love that they seem to have. It will not be as in this world, where comparatively few things are what they seem to be, and where professions are often made lightly and without meaning. But there, every expression of love shall come from the bottom of the heart, and all that is professed shall be real and truly felt.”

Once at home in Heaven, the hungry will fill up, those who weep will laugh, and those who suffer tragedy will be compensated the victory.

i realize this is a lot of very positive and wonderful stuff about something that isn’t exactly in the here and now. And i realize most of us might be far more interested in things we can do in the now to help our present circumstances or situations, BUT, in putting the idea of home on the table and talking about being at home with Jesus, eating, walking, and talking with God, family, friends, and all the participants of the entire salvation message from beginning to end, it generates hope, the anticipation of becoming and overcoming, and hope is in very short supply in our world.

Revelation 21:3-5 “And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.””

Those are the words of Jesus and we can take it to the bank. Live everyday in light of them. Let me encourage you to make every choice in light of God’s promises. C.S. Lewis wrote, “A man who has been in another world does not come back unchanged. A man who gives sustained thought to God and his future Home in Heaven, does not remain the same. He smells the banquet being prepared for him and he’ll never be the same, in Jesus Name.

Think about it.

Randy Alcorn wrote in his book titled “Heaven”, “We were all made for a person and a place. Jesus is that person. Heaven is that place.”

If you know Jesus, i’ll be with you in that resurrected world. With the Lord we love and with the friends we cherish, we’ll embark together on the ultimate adventure, in a spectacular new universe awaiting our exploration and dominion. Jesus will be the center of all things, and joy will be the air we breathe, and right when we think it all couldn’t get any better, it will!

Thank you for joining me here at Outposts for cool jazz and contemplative conversation! i’m Social Porter and this production has been brought to you by Living In His Name Ministries, 22 Skidoo Boots and Shoes on 3rd and main, Tempo Music, Kevin, Tommy, and Perry of the Mebane Freedom League, Area 22 Guitars, Sisters Coffee, and Trinity Bakers, the sweet spot on main street where there’s always something good in the oven.

Come on home with Jesus, there’s a party going on for eternity and we ought not to miss eating, dancing, and talking with the King of the Universe!

Be strong and courageous, drive carefully, and i’ll see you at home where God makes all things new. Amen.

Pray For Someone

            Through out the Bible, prayer, or an address to God (as a petition), is used or encouraged as a means to express ourselves to God, in joy or agony. Prayer is more than just words, it is an action and a life posture towards God. It is the words and actions human beings employ in an effort to communicate with God. Interestingly, people don’t just “talk” to God, they “pray”. We “talk” to each other or ourselves, but it would seem “prayer” is something more than simply “talking”, at least in the way it is presented to us at church many times.

           Paul prayed incessantly, or without ceasing for the believers in Romans. We are also, ourselves, encouraged to find a posture before God where we pray without ceasing like in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” It would also appear that rejoicing and a thankful heart are directly connected to our time devoted to prayer.

            In Ephesians 6 we are encouraged to pray in the Spirit with all supplication, meaning to talk to God with all your words, with all your heart, with all your feelings and intentions; to throw yourself into communication with God. 57% of the people in a survey said prayer saves the dying. When asked to imagine their own relatives being gravely ill or injured, only 20 percent of the doctors and other medical workers interviewed said God could reverse a hopeless outcome.

            i like these words by Margaret B. Gunness, “The power of thanksgiving and prayer is the constant renewal of perspective. Genuine thanksgiving and prayer opens our eyes. It extends our horizons. It sheds light into the darkness of our fears and our sorrows, our hopes and joys, our shame and our pride. It gives us new ways of seeing life and relationships, of understanding work and the cost of growing.”

            When you’re coming out of the store, as you’re headed to your car, you may see an elder person, a mom running in the store for something, a man pulling in for groceries … ask God to give you the words to pray for that person. You don’t have to run them down and do something dramatic, but right where you are, in the moment, just between you and God, with thanksgiving, pray for that person. What would it take to create in your heart an attitude of praying with a thankful heart for people as they came to mind during your day?

            Through a thankful heart and prayer, a simple foundation of deep faith and trust in God is established. We are encouraged to turn to Him in prayer and thanksgiving, not only in need, but also to rest in the arms of the Father — body and spirit.  

            Once, at Mother Teresa’s mission in Calcutta, India, the lady in charge of lunch that day came and told Mother Teresa that they had planned poorly and didn’t have enough flour to make the necessary food to feed all the children who would come to the mission to eat. They knew for most of the children it would be their ONLY meal that day. Mother Teresa told the woman, “Well then, go into the chapel and tell Jesus we have no food. That’s settled. Now let’s move on. What’s next?”

            Lo and behold, ten minutes later there was a ring at the door and Mother Teresa was called downstairs. A man she had never seen before was standing there with a clipboard. He addressed her saying “Mother Teresa, we were just informed that the teachers at the city schools are going on strike. Classes have been dismissed and we have 7,000 lunches we don’t know what to do with. Can you help us use them?”

            Trust God, tell him what’s on your heart. Pray for someone today as you go your way. Be thankful for recognition of the need of others knowing that if God had not given the recognition to you, it simply wouldn’t be there. i can guarantee, if you’ll thankfully pray and talk to God, soon you will begin to see a change and a little fire in your heart will begin to burn as never before. If you’ll pray for someone as you go your way, there will grow a confidence, rest, and assurance that something more than just life on this planet is happening. And be sure and persist in your prayers, it’s not merely a one and done. Prayer is not a one night stand. Make thanksgiving and prayer a habit, pray for someone today; it makes a difference and brings a focus in their lives and yours that will surely surprise you.

            Would God be someone else if we didn’t pray? No. Would God hate if we didn’t beg God to love? No. Would God ignore an illness or marriage unless we remembered to pray and did so fervently? No. It is God’s nature to love, to show mercy, to forgive, and to redeem. God is not manipulated because we pray or because we don’t.

            What, then, do our prayers do? At one level, they are like a child’s cry for a parent’s help. They just burst forth. We see a need, and we call to God. We feel a pain, and we call to God.

            A thankful heart and our prayers also align us with God. What does alignment with God accomplish? You never can tell but in time it will be revealed. i can assure you it’s is more and bigger than you could imagine. Not to mention, prayer certainly does help put us in a mind to help others. It eases the burdens of others, and amends our lives and the lives of others, in ways we might never see. James 5:16b, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man accomplishes a great deal.

            The positive, radical and transforming impact of one person’s choosing to love another cannot be fully known, but it is sufficient reason to pray and give thanks to God for His abundant mercy which He liberally extends to us.

i’m Social Porter for Living In His Name Ministries

God Is Life

God Is Life
Life. Real life, life in Christ is the God-imparted, illustrative, comprehensive, and fundamental primary source, which makes us who believe on Christ a living soul, living as in animated and dead as in inanimated. It is the essential “something” which God imparted to us because of the sacrifice of the Son, Jesus. In the N.T., speaking of “imparted things”, from God’s perspective, it is to give something away which is always present and at work, that runs forward in the power of God’s livingness. That’s what God means when He says He “imparts” something to us. That same concept also holds for Genesis 2:7, as in when God imparted “the breath of life…”. After the fall is another story. After the fall of mankind, without Christ, we are no longer able to do anything other than breathe and choose, meaning we are NOT all children of God. Some love to say, “We are all children of God.” Ummm, no, that’s not true. In order for us to be blood relatives, we must also choose Christ. Just because we all have dirt, breath, and have the ability to choose in common does not make us blood kin folk. We can only be in the family of God through Christ, and Christ alone, who is the only way to live in the brilliance of life that is always present and at work, running forward in the power of God’s livingness.
In John 3:16, “everlasting life”, “life” being the Greek word, “zoe”, means, “the state of one who is possessed of vitality or is animated”. Again, to be “alive” is to be animated. To be dead is to be inanimate. Life … real life is the gift of God, and is accessed through faith in Jesus Christ. That animating faith also imparts a new nature to us which results in fellowship with God in Christ, never to be interrupted by death.
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that “… if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” The Lord alone has absolute life in Himself, and He alone is the source of all life, and i’ll say it again, although it may be difficult to accept for some: Just because we breathe and choose doesn’t mean we are alive. Breathing is not necessarily evidence of life as God purposed, but more the evidence of being given, by God, the right to breathe, act, and choose. Life, as God intends it for us, is something far more dynamic than simply breathing and choosing.
All have been given, by God, the right to breathe, act, and choose. Romans 5:12, “… through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned”. Without Jesus Christ we have lost our animation and have become inanimate. Sin did not kill us, the breaking of fellowship with God brought death, and sin was the result. Being animated means we have weight to accomplish and influence, but to be inanimate means we are weightless to make a difference, a real difference in the state of the universe.
God is NOT angry with us and does not hold us in contempt or disdain, for the Almighty loved the world so much, Jesus gave His life as a sacrifice and offering for the sin of the world, and an offering is something given of value and comes with a vow. 1 Chronicles 1:24 paints a picture of a foreshadowing of things to come when David refused to give a burnt offering which cost him nothing because he knew the offering without cost was valueless. God gave the offering of Christ, His Son, who was the ultimate offering, and His vow was that, as believers, He would no longer be angry with us. (Isaiah 54:9-10) God vowed to redeem us if we would repent, give us a destiny and an inheritance, adopting us as royalty, share with us His attributes which are of endless worth, and would love us all the way back to Himself forever. All the wrath of God was poured on the Son at Calvary. Are you OK with that, or do you feel you need to suffer, and be flogged a little extra so you feel worthy to receive God’s gift? Not only did Jesus die for us as an offering, but He rose from the dead because “In him was life (zoe) and the life was the light (or fire) of men”, John 1:4.
Now THAT is value that is not possible to ignore and is over the top, past infinity, and beyond anything the world or darkness can offer. God is life. Life cannot be gotten or bought in easy dispensers, pull tab cans, or zip open sacks, neither does life just happen, as is commonly advertised in today’s advertising medium. Life is exclusively in God Almighty alone, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, One God. God is life.
In John 10:10, Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” That is “abundantly”, in the sense of beyond our imagination, superabundant in quantity, superior in quality, and by implication excessive. Life in those terms can NOT be touched by the universe. Only God has it and we are, simply put, dead in the water without it.
Habakuk 2:19 uses the phrase “no breath at all”, in reference to idols, the whole scripture declares “Woe” upon those who seek knowledge and life from wood and stone, which are created materials; materials which possess neither life or knowledge, nor can impart life or knowledge to anyone. Men, all too often, look to escape God, looking for knowledge and life beyond the Lord, worshiping and serving the creation rather than the Creator, often celebrating the donkey instead of the Savior who rode on the donkey (Matthey 21:1-11).
God is life, the only life, super-abundant, superior, and excessive. He is extremely God and there is no other.

Conflicted!

Aw yea, indeed a beautiful evening, another day coming to a close. The sun has made it’s way to the horizon and daylight wains to darkness, the stars are coming out, shining and singing, on their usual course across the night sky.
I’m Social Porter and this is Outposts. In a world of changing morals, mobile boundaries, and elusive standards, we breathe life through “theatre of the mind” at a beautiful cafe at the end of Old Field Road…it’s a radio-styled program of cool jazz and contemplative conversation, touching the issues of everyday life, where the rubber meets the road.
If i’m not mistaken the last topic was about Peacemakers, those who do more than just keep the peace, but actually step into the fray and make peace with themselves and others. There is a difference, you know, between keeping the peace and making peace. Peace keeping says, “Sit down and shut up!”, and peace making does the tedious work of conflict resolution.
At this juncture, let me add, among a few other things, i figure there are two subtle but significant constants in life, waiting and conflict. We spend the majority of our lives waiting, and there is always a never ending opportunity for conflict, in one form or another. Seeing as how having to wait and dealing with conflict are such a constant in all of our lives, you’d think we’d be better at it. Amazingly though, we are not.
Our topic is conflict, do we submit and resent, rebel and persecute, or choose to step into the fray and resolve things, if at all possible? There’s just too many stones being left unturned and as a result conflict persists in our lives. Even if left to ourselves, we are conflicted by opposing ideologies banging around in our heads. To me, it seems … odd that many churches want to advance the gospel, but typically don’t offer much on how to deal with conflict. Friends, any time people gather in groups, there will come conflict, and i guarantee, eventually, somebody is going to have a conflict about something with someone else. Should we do what we usually do, just say nothing and let it ride, hoping the issues will just magically go away? Probably not the best approach i’d say. The clash among people doesn’t actually just go away, it simply morph’s into something else, only to rear it’s ugly head later on. i believe we spend a lot of time teaching nice principles and only uplifting doctrines from scripture, cycling through our “go to” Bible verses, looking for one to make us feel better about, um, something ‘er other, but we spend almost no time learning to resolve conflict, in a setting where struggle, strife, and rivalry is so at the forefront of issues which need to be dealt with.
Let’s think about 1 Samuel 22:1-2. “David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his father’s household heard about it, they went down to him there. All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their leader. About four hundred men were with him.”
i see the entire cave of Adullam experience as a defining moment for several issues. Jewish history has it that the cave of Adullam, near the city of Adullam, wasn’t far from where David defeated Goliath, it is near where Moses saw the glory of God, and historically it is the same cave where God spoke to Elijah, so it was a pretty important place.
Because of Saul’s desire to put a spear into David, the songbird of Israel took off and hid in a cave. David was conflicted, and Saul was very conflicted. i think something else that was interesting is that David seemed to have a knack of drawing to himself others who were distraught, discouraged, and dissatisfied (that is the three d’s there, did you catch that? Distraught, discouraged, and dissatisfied, and it would appear all those who joined David in that cave were in the throe’s of the three d’s in some fashion or another. They were all conflicted, with no apparent means of resolve. They were all on the run, they were all in hiding, and they were doing their best to out distance the conflict which pursued them. Whatever the problems were with each of those in the cave of Adullam, their difficulties were great enough they were driven out of where they were. How is it they all seemed to end up in the same place about the same time? Was it God’s doing, directing their paths whether they knew Him or not?
Psalm 35:11-12 says “Ruthless witnesses come forward; they question me on things I know nothing about. They repay me evil for good and leave my soul forlorn.” This scripture is the crux of our modern society political system. Conflict is on our door step and we can’t out run it.
When people embellish the truth and make sure others hear of it, it is ruthlessness seeking to set a bias for a hidden agenda, personal conflict then becomes the focus, and they discredit anyone who might oppose them. I am amazed at the people who don’t like the way you talk and they just feel it is of the utmost importance to make sure you know THEY don’t approve. I think that’s bizarre. They leave their bitter words at our feet, and then abandon us to deal with the damage in their wake, isolated and cast off. Leviticus 19:16 says we should never go around being a slanderer of others. That word “slanderer” there means a scandal-monger, as in someone who loves the chaos of conflict, and causes others to be seen as unbelievable. Being a tyrannical and terrorizing witness, interrogating others in such a way so as to make them admit to things they, in truth, know nothing about, casting shadows on justice. God says it is wrong. He likens it to standing up against the life of your neighbor, and it happens all the time in our justice system, and actually, i think this behavior is generally promoted in our country these days.
Have you ever felt that way? If anyone says ‘no’, i certainly would challenge the honesty of the reply. Conflict is all around us, and avoiding it is impossible. I don’t believe we are so naïve that we somehow believe that avoiding conflict is possible, so let us, the Body of Christ, embrace conflict and begin learning to resolve our differences instead of pretending a smile, making a face, and breaking off our relationships. Going away is not an answer unless it’s under extreme circumstances with no other option.
As in 1 Samuel 22, David’s conflict had become a crisis, but unlike David, our conflicts don’t have to become a deadlocked dilemma. Many serious issues can be prevented by simple early attention. i believe managing a potential conflict long before it’s a crisis is a great investment of time and energy, do you know what i mean? But many times we just let things fester until they are gale force winds of conflict, then we fly into action with a knee jerk reaction and none of it had to be that way had we dealt with things before they got wound up tight as a clock spring.
Maybe, instead of seeing conflict as a good reason to go somewhere else, we should be brave and have those challenging conversations as an opportunity for a deeper association with others. Before you run off make sure you’ve done all you can do to stay connected. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with everyone.  And yes i’m speaking to all the “church surfers” out there, and those who desperately want deep relationships, but find it too scary to disclose enough of themselves to actually make it happen. Is that you? Maybe it’s me. But surely it is us.
In light of the conflicted David, his “mighty men of valor” and their crisis with Saul, what did they do about it? Oh don’t you know, enduring looong running conflict without resolve, well, that sort of pressure tends to warp your head around over time. They couldn’t run fast enough to get away; they couldn’t find a cave deep enough, a ditch long enough, or a country far enough. David needed a different outcome, so, by God’s guidance and power, David did something other than run, he turned and embraced the conflict; he began to turn his problems into possibilities, and to me, he came up with some creative responses. Like in 1 Samuel 24:2-3, when Saul was chasing David and his men near the Crags of the Wild Goats, Saul went into a cave to relieve himself, little did he know that David and his gang of desperate men were pressed far back in the cave.
David’s rough crew wanted to kill Saul right there when the King was so very vulnerable. They figured if they got rid of Saul, then their conflict and crisis would end. Isn’t that what we do? “Let’s get rid of so-and-so, then our problems will be over.” “Let’s get rid of this-n-that, then, yes THEN our problems will be over.” But shortly, we are conflicted and in a crisis all over again. The problem isn’t outside us but inside us. In David’s case though, he knew better and said, in so many words, “No way guys, we’re not doing that! We’ll do this God’s way or no way at all!” David needed a different outcome, so he employed a different approach. 1 Samuel 24:7-8 “ ….And Saul left the cave and went his way. Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, “My lord the king!” When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground.” i bet Saul was quite embarrassed and humiliated to find out a whole gang of people were watching him relieve his bowels, and even though they had the chance to kill him they practiced self control. After that, David took the opportunity to plead his case to Saul in an effort to resolve the conflict as best he could. He played down his judgment and criticism, restraining his inclination to cast shadows on Saul.
How many of us, sitting out there listening to this, need a different outcome from the one we usually get when things get a bit testy in our relationships?
i think quite a few people prefer a large body of believers, not just because there is a greater opportunity for fellowship, but also because it is easier to control how close we get to others and how much of ourselves we reveal. In a small body of believers, there grows a much more profitable relationship … it’s closer, but it requires persistent diligence, humility, and grace. In large bodies we don’t have to be particularly responsible or accountable, and if anyone challenges us and our behavior, well, this is America, we just move on to the next place. More than a few pastors have expressed deep concerns over the fact that most of their congregation is comprised of sheep from another pasture.
Friends, when we run from the problem, we run from God’s promises, and when we run from God’s process, we run from the blessings. There are people who have encountered conflict, and rather than deal with it, they set themselves above and apart, maintain they are right so as to make the other person wrong, and then, they just move to another pasture. My friends, we are conflicted and we need to begin to learn to deal with our conflicts and resolve our differences.
Are you thinking about how things ought to be, instead of how things are? In the mind of many people, it’s usually the “other person” with the problem and we are somehow innocent and above it all. Rather than aiming our finger at the other party, let’s think about what our part is in the situation. Are we honest about ourselves? Do we strongly hold to our idea of “how things should be”? How people should behave? What ought to happen? Are you constantly judging if someone is being polite or rude, or having a personal opinion of what is right vs. what is wrong? We can get totally lost in our focus on everything wrong with anything and never get anywhere. Do you realize how many people there are who seem obsessed with what’s wrong with the church and rarely get around to being devoted to what is right with God? Conflicted i tell ya’, conflicted!
Do we hold ourselves to an impossible standard saying, “I’ve got to get this right, because if I can’t, I’d better not even try.” If we do that we’ll just turn into Eeyore and go stand in the rain some place.
Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
i’d like to point out we all need rest, and faith in Christ brings us much needed rest, but it does not absolve us of dealing with our conflicts with others, nor does running off to another pasture remove the conflict, it only delays our dealing with it all. Some important words in that last scripture are “take my yoke upon you and learn from me”. i’d like to share this basic wisdom which God has planted in my heart: resolving my conflicts starts with me, not with them, but with me. If i want others to be different, then i must be different, if i want a different outcome i must begin with a different approach, being consistent and repeatable, and do it and do it and do it until the conflict in my sphere of influence begins to turn around.
Everyone has dreams and they imagine the way life might be. Of course we do, and we’d be foolish to not admit it. We were born to dream and imagine, so it’s not a fault we need to fix. But, does the movie in our head actually match the real-life situation? There are two lives going on with us. There’s the life inside our head and the life outside our head and we’ve got to make adjustments in order for the two to get along. When the life inside doesn’t get along with the life outside, when our conscience and our character are at odds, we are conflicted and need some resolution in order to live at peace with ourselves and others.
Jesus did not run from the conflicts around Him, oh boy, and He was seriously surrounded by conflict. Not only did He not allow Himself to get swallowed up by the world around Him, He chose to embrace the conflict, and respond with the appropriate assertiveness. i said, “appropriate assertiveness”.
Listen, you who are so easily offended: Jesus didn’t practice a defense because He didn’t carry an offense. What’s with all the defensiveness these days? i say there’s multiple offenses underneath driving the need to be defensive. And oh, how easily we all get offended, wow.
If we want to reduce some of our conflicts, lets open doors not close them, and i’m not talking about having good boundaries for there certainly are people who are not good for us and it is wise to created distance. i’m talking about when conflict knocks on our door (and it surely will), let’s learn to ask ourselves some really relative questions like: How can i move this forward? Do we dwell on how unfair someone was, playing the situation over and over in our minds? Ask yourself, can i improve the situation without demeaning myself? <<<SAY THAT AGAIN —Is the issue about what i imagine, do i have the facts, have i listened and understood the other person? What is this r-e-a-l-l-y about? How else could i see this? Now, i’ve got to say though, asking those questions and getting some answers is a real discipline, so it may take practice in order to entertain such self-inquisition. Be strong and courageous.
Friends, if we withdraw and then go silent, giving someone the “silent treatment”, is anything resolved? The silent treatment is an exercise in pain about who can care less, the most, the longest?. <<<SAY IT AGAIN— It should be no skin off anyone’s nose to listen and understand the other person. No one said we have to agree, but we can certainly listen, right? i believe Jesus was an active listener and he participated in the conversations with the disciples. He asked them questions as they asked him questions, He invited them into the conversation rather than just telling them answers. It was personal and relational, as God has been with the entire universe since the beginning, personal and relational. Jesus is our example of how we should live, act, and have our being; He is our example of how to live out our conduct, character, and conversation.
Conflict … ahhh, what a difficult topic. Re-thinking pain and how we deal with it can be trying, to say the least, especially when we’re the ones in pain, and ignoring it all doesn’t make it go away, in fact, if we ignore our pain, check it out, this is important…if we ignore our pain, it simply becomes triggers. Here is a sticky statement: undealt with pain today, becomes tomorrows trigger points.
i think the following is a good question, What do you do when the other person is screaming at you? Maybe just emotionally screaming, you know, some people are very emotionally loud but yet speak softly. You might feel shame that someone would dare speak to you like that, or maybe anger at yourself for feeling stupid and even being there, but never the less, there you are, getting slammed, and it seems like nobody cares. In fact, the look on their faces, sometimes, is as if other people seem to think you deserve getting yelled at. How do you act? Do you retaliate, or scream back? Gosh, that really solved things, huh? Do you remain calm and choose to engage rather than be driven by the volume of the conflict? Maybe we just smile, back away slowly, and say to ourselves “I’ll never go there again”. Yea, we’ve all done that one.
How many times in our lives have we decided, “I’ll never go there again”? Did … not going, where ever “there” was, actually resolve anything, or did the conflict follow us around, staring at us, begging to be resolved? And if we think unresolved conflict won’t follow us, uh-huh, just give it time. Hear me on this: God WILL get our attention. It’s sort of like taking a job, the boss brings up some places you need to improve. You get offended and quit. If you’ve had three or four jobs in a short time span, who is the common denominator? Maybe it’s not the job, ya’ know, maybe it’s you and the Lord is talking to you about you. He does that you know. It’s nice and makes us appear all composed when we quote the Bible and be all spiritual, but if we really, really want to know the Lord and want more from our walk, we’re going to have to quit hiding and resolve our internal conflicts.
How many of us peg the meter between worry and indifference? We think to ourselves, we’re supposed to be trusting God but yet we find ourselves worrying. To escape the weight and burden of worry, and worry does have crushing weight, we flop over to being indifferent. “Fine! i don’t care!” we say to ourselves. But before long we’re feeling guilty about being indifferent because we know God is never indifferent, we’re supposed to be a light on a hill to the world, but yet here we are being indifferent. To escape the guilt of feeling indifferent we try to press forward, quote some scripture, and tell ourselves we’re trusting God again, maybe run down our prayer list of the “scripture of the day” to find a way to bail us out of some very challenging emotions. But, it’s not long before that worry starts c-r-e-e-p-i-n-g back in, and shortly we’re pegging the meter under the weight of worry again. Back and forth, slamming back and forth. What’s really going on there? What i’ve illuminated is a conflict that is common among people in general, and i believe the Lord is the only one who can leads us to resolving the conflict.
And now for Jesus. He is the highest peacemaker in history. From the Garden of Eden, there came a conflict between God and man. God knowing the end from the beginning resolved, from the beginning within Himself, to give to us the ultimate gift to resolve our conflicted souls if we’ll simply embrace Him. This is the truth, Jesus is our example about how to deal with conflict.
Criticizing, casting shadows or slander on others, name-calling, self-elevating arrogant declarations, and passing out ultimatums are poor options which block resolve >>> and feed conflict. We often re-write our story in our minds to make it something other than what it is so we don’t have to deal with life. If we want a different outcome, we’ve got to initiate a different approach.
We are the Body of Christ and i believe God wants us to be experts in dealing with conflict. He gave to us Jesus, who bled and died for us, in order that we would be free and no longer need to be slaves to sin. Let us open doors, not close them, and quit all that running away. Behold the Lord stands at our door and knocks, and anyone who opens to Him, He will come in to us and eat with us, bringing with Him Love, Grace, Peace, and the power to change, and change we must for we can not continue as we were. God has changed direction and we must change with Him. Oh and saying, “That’s just the way i am”, man, that’s a terrible answer. Think about it.
i want to be a warrior with an open heart. i want to be an influencer like Samuel and ultimately Jesus. Let us be an influencer not a manipulator. We need a different outcome so we’ve got to let God teach us a different approach. Here’s another sticky statement: A manipulator works for the outcome to favor themselves at the expense of others; an influencer works for the outcome to favor the other party as well as the influencer, as in John 3:16, “God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that who so ever would believe on Him, shall not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16 is a win/win solution to our conflict; it’s good for God and it’s good for us! That is ultimate peacemaking.
i’m Social Porter…thanks for joining me this evening here at Outposts, an engaging and cheerful cafe at the end of Old Field Road, which overlooks the late evening cascading banks of the Ockluhwahhah River.
All music was by The Hadouk, Frank, Chick, and Lyle. All music use is licensed by BMI.
This evenings topic has been brought to you by Living In His Name Ministries, Area 22 Guitars, The Whistle Stop Cafe on McCrackin St., Ruth Orginals out Chimney Rock Highway, and Trinity Bakers, where there’s always something good in the oven.
As you go your way this week, ask God for wisdom to go forward, be honest, get low, be transparent and authentic, opening doors not shutting them. Until we meet again, be strong and courageous, amen!