Millions of people, mill around, go to work, talk on their cell phones (or at least pretend to), are married, and have children. Many are living in neighborhoods around the world, communities where everyone is surrounded by everyone else, but still, the affliction of loneliness is astounding.

In 1974, when i was in the Navy, we made a tour of the Mediterranean area, we went to quite a few fascinating places, and spent a lot of time in Naples, Italy. It was a beautiful place with so much history and so many people, but honestly, i was the loneliest guy there ever was. i truly didn’t know how to connect with others. Of course, i had friends, but we didn’t really connect except over drugs or drinking or maybe music, but not much else. Sure, i had parents, brothers, and sisters, but none of us communicated much, if at all. i had no real connection with anyone, but it wasn’t like some older people didn’t try and communicate with me, i mean, in my heart of hearts, there was no connection, no identity, no standard, no special person which i felt could hear me and i could be honest with. i was just a lost person, no purpose, no goal, and no identity. Truthfully, again, i didn’t know how to connect.

i think i was scared a lot. i was afraid that if anyone really knew what i was thinking or how i really felt they wouldn’t want anything to do with me. Besides, the society and culture i had grown up in really encouraged individualism far above being connected to a community of any sort. i was challenged as an individual to excel, to be more than others, to be faster, longer, louder than anyone else, so i, myself would excel as an individual. The idea of “team player” didn’t even enter my mind. i was alone. Stark, cold, minimized and alone and had no clue what to do about it.

A friend of mine and i are presently involved with prison and jail ministry, and one of the consistent threads i find is just plain lonely people. Most are lonely, unconnected, and they are sure no one wants them, not even God. They’ve somehow learned the “rejection lifestyle”. i hope we all realize that people learn that lifestyle from someone. People don’t just grow up knowing how to live a life being rejected and alone. Someone taught it to them. Parents, school, church, friends. It is an unspoken topic we teach: shame and rejection.

When i was a young man, a relative spoke to me one day, sitting on the front porch. He told me of Jesus Christ and the summarized version of the Gospel Story. Interestingly, it all stuck in my head, and years later, after being a drug addict, an alcoholic, and an in-general addict to anything that was addictable, Jesus invited me to join Him in His life. What a wonderful thing God gave me: fellowship.

In my fellowship with God since those early years, God has given me identity, a good identity, one of being honest, diligent, patient, and faithful. i realized that all my life i was taught to not lie, but no one but God taught me how to be honest. At first i was really bad at being anything positive and mature. i never had any of those qualities before. i didn’t even recognize what they looked like. But, since that day i’m not lonely any longer. Fellowship with God brings joy and means we have something in common with Him. Jesus said that where two or more are gathered in His name, He will be amongst them…that is fellowship. From the days in the garden of Eden, it was God’s desire to fellowship with us. i am not lonely any longer because God has chosen me, and i have come to Him by the blood of Christ, i have fellowship with God, i have a standard, a reason, and a rhyme because i have fellowship with God. Fellowship with God is one of the benefits of knowing Jesus, and i can’t think of anyone better to be closer to. C.A. Spurgeon said, “the word “fellowship” not only signifies strict agreement of heart but it implies a carrying out of that strict agreement a little further, in mutual communication.”  In other words, if we talk to God, He will talk to us, and He expects conversation. Wow! Now THAT is amazingly wonderful. The Hebrew language is a language of action, and if i’m alone in my own little world, yet say i’m in fellowship, then, like Kevin says, We can say, say, say, but unless we do, do, do, then we aren’t, aren’t, aren’t.

Jesus, you are the sun of our soul; you are to us the river from whom we drink, the bread of which we eat, the air we breathe; you are the basis of our life and you are the summit of it, you are the brace, the mainstay, the pillar, the beauty, the joy of our being! If we have but you, we can ask nothing besides, for you are all in all, and if we don’t have you, we are miserable, contemptible, and undone. So, then we have fellowship with the Father, because that which is His happiness is most certainly our happiness.

i’m Social Porter for Living In His Name Ministries.