Self-Control
Oh my gosh! In this country do we even have any self-control, which literally means that our thinking is on a level path? One group thinks the other is on a downhill skid, the second group is absolutely sure they are on level ground and that the first group is totally off the wall. Neither seems to be willing to take into consideration they, themselves, could be off balance, out of bounds, or even twisted in their thinking, heels dug in, eyes shut tight, fingers in their ears while loudly saying, “La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la” so as to drown out all council but their own voice. i don’t know about you, but when i’m busy talking, it’s very difficult to hear anyone else, even God.
Lord, open our hearts and our understanding that we might get on board with Your idea of the Fruit of the Spirit: self-control.
The news, media service, and especially advertising largely drives public passions: have it your way, get what you want, or build it like you like with seemingly no thought as to the end result of unbridled passions and self-centered living. Today’s main stream world seems to be so inviting to people to just “let go and lose control” under the guise of “being free”. But it seems to me in order to “be free”, at least from the world’s perspective, i just need to do “whatever i want to do”, “when i want”, and “how i want”. i think we should question that logic. Although the worlds idea of freedom is called “being free”, is it actually freedom? If i’m being harmful and neglectful of the welfare of others, there are always some who believe that’s ok because it’s all under the banner of “self-expression”. For many, they’re good with whatever happens as long as it doesn’t happen to them.
Odd how those same people think another person’s “reckless abandon”, or “self-expression” is OK until it burns their house down and then it’s suddenly a bad thing.
How important is “self-control”? God calls it one of the fruits of being righteous. Think of all the terrible things that would happen if, not only did we have no self-control, but we did not allow God to teach us self-control, with us being left to ourselves and our own thinking to do everything, “our way!”
i’m Social Porter and this is Outposts.
Many years ago, i used to have words from the Lord, visions, and dreams, i was diligent to write down things people had said or written which resonated with me…..i must have gotten discouraged with all the notebooks of things i had collected which God had given me and started not writing His words and vision down, preferring instead distractions when it was during the day, or favoring sleep if at night. Somewhere along the line i noticed the words, dreams, and visions weren’t happening too often anymore, so i asked the Lord, “Why?” By and by He replied saying He had noticed i wasn’t writing them down anymore and it seemed i must not be too interested.
Anyway, all that to preface this: i read somewhere that to gain “self-control” we can’t just ignore or renounce something to gain mastery. Ignoring bad behavior doesn’t make it anything other than ignored bad behavior, and declaring we’ll never do such and such again is a good start, maybe, but neither do things change simply because we declare it so. Sure, we can turn our eyes and attention to other things, but to allow ourselves to be diverted so we don’t notice our problem doesn’t mean we are actually exercising self-control. The best thing is to turn our eyes to the source of true change and real power that is outside ourselves. The key to self-control is not inward, but upward. “Self-control” begins with Jesus as a spiritual thing.
Proverbs 1:1-3, “These are the proverbs of Solomon, David’s son, king of Israel. Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline, to help them understand the insights of the wise. Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair.”
The word “discipline” there is the English transliteration of the Hebrew idea of “self-control”. The O.T. uses that Hebrew word 50 times, and the English translators called it reproof, chastisement, or instruction. But in the sense of self-control, it is seen as discipline, correction, or personal restraint. In the New Testament, the word often used is “sober”, “moderate”, “temperance”, and even “discreet”, meaning to be of sound mind, self-controlled and sane. Ahhhh, there it is, from the Hebrew letters it means to be sane, “thinking on level ground”, or, “self-control”. The picture is one of fenced in passions and purposeful restraint.
The Hebrew word for “self-control” reveals God’s intent that we use it as one of our methods to enter into the “rising light of God” which will “wash over us like a wave”, empowering us to be even more disciplined; the implication of the word means we are to explore our real motivations in order to stand in the revealed truth of the Lord, knowing the Lord is our support to lean upon in order to conquer the passions of our flesh, and so much, if not all the battle for self-control is in our head. In the middle of the Hebrew word is a letter which, in this case, is considered “the belly of the word”, meaning in the belly of a man are the passions which need to be in subjection.
One method to bring those passions into subjection is honesty, understanding why we do what we do, getting God’s instruction and correction which is called education, something we, as a nation, so desperately need, not education in the ways of the world and men, but of the Lord and His values. The Lord IS our method for our feet to be on a level path, or exercising self-control. i remember struggling so often to not be so constantly disappointed, i would set impossibly high goals, too high for myself much less anyone else. Then when i failed to reach the goal, i was so disappointed in myself that anger would overwhelm me. Emotionally, i was like a steel ball just bouncing around in a box, slamming side to side, round and round, day after day, living life with such little self-control. For some reason, Romans 8:1 never occurred to me. “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.”
In my perpetual disappointment, i was angry at everything, and rather than think things through, i just went round and round in life, acting and reacting in a horrible loop. i was so very not on a level path, and i had done it to myself.
And you? Is your thinking on a level path or is it driven by hot atmosphere, high emotion, and the erratic teaching of the world?
In Genesis 39, Joseph exercised incredible self-control, discipline, and loyalty to God in order for him to endure his trials. In light of vs4, it says Joseph was a servant, had found favor, and was even made an overseer with all authority given to him. We discover in vs 6 Joseph was also handsome in his appearance. For a single guy who was smart, wise, had favor, and was goooood looking, i imagine the girls really had an interest in him. Ssadly, so did his boss’ wife. She, straight out, said, “let’s you and me have sex.” He put to use his discipline and self-control by refusing her advances with a very plain but diplomatic answer.
Genesis 39:8-9, he told her, “With me in charge, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?”
As the story goes on, the masters’ wife is hitting on him nearly everyday. At one point she got aggressive and even grabbed him by his clothes trying to force him to do what she wanted, but Joseph had a greater vision of how things would be because, i believe, he played the rest of the movie and saw how things would turn out. With full commitment to NOT participate with her, in vs 12, scripture says he ran away. He RAN AWAY, literally ripping himself away from her with such determination he left his shirt in her hands.
Friends, this kind of self-discipline, or self-control stood him in good standing and reputation in the years that followed. Serving the Lord was more important than serving himself. But let’s play the whole movie here. Had Joseph taken up the other man’s wife on her offer, for the moment all things would have been wonderfully delicious, but one way or another, and here’s a sticky statement: secrets have a way of coming to the surface, they have a way of not staying secret, and in the end, nothing would have gone well for him. Again, secrets have a way of not remaining secrets. Yes, it’s true, she was very vindictive, she lied and got Joseph in a ton of trouble, but in the end, the Lord honored Joseph and lifted him up above his previous station.
Let’s toss in the mix another example of self-control, one of the fruits of the Spirit. In 1 Samuel 26 David is being hard pressed by Saul. At one-point David suggests they sneak down into Saul’s camp, so he and Joab’s brother take off. There, they are able to sneak up on Saul as he slept, and rather than kill him, David practiced the discipline and self-control to not kill the sleeping king. Instead they took only Saul’s spear and a jar of water so that Saul would KNOW David could have killed him but he didn’t. David saw the value of his restraint. It may seem to the reader that David, quite possibly could solve all his problems by pinning Saul to the ground with one stroke of the spear, but David also knew better than to assault God’s anointed one.
Both Joseph and David were motived by spiritual principals. Serving the Lord was more important than serving themselves, and not only did they believe self-control was spiritual, but they lived it out.
1 Corinthians 9:25-27, “All athletes practice self-control in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. I run with purpose in every step and i’m not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.”
A really good paraphrase of Proverbs 5:22-23 is, “An evil man is held captive by his own wounded conscience and gives power to his flesh over his spirit; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his thick headed foolishness.”
How many alcoholics and drug addicts do we hear about, who, due to their addiction, have very little self-control and eventually die? How many people do you know who are addicted to drama? Their lives are constantly filled with drama and hang out with other people who are also addicted to drama, so much so, that when we are around them we just want to run away. Addicts self-medicate, it’s a way of avoiding personal pain. Whether it’s drugs, alcohol, sex, drama, feelings, or even an addiction to “explaining ourselves” because of the constant feelings of being misunderstood, or whatever our addiction is, the lack of self-control drives us further from the very relationships we so desperately wish we had.
In an attempt at some sort of control in an out of control life, i believe many do almost everything they can to silence their conscience, which is a built in
God-mechanism given to help us navigate life. Sort of like a compass when it comes to maintaining some self-control and doing the right thing. But when that “compass” gets muddled, and there is no clear sound or vision, we try driving it to silence because we have, given power to our flesh over our spirit. Our flesh “wants” and we just give whatever it asks. If our conscience nags us, we self-medicate in one fashion or another until our internal compass is noiselessness. We can be silent to others, and can possibly silence our state of mind, but we cannot so easily silence our conscience. i’d say it’s a pretty fair assumption on my part that the only conscience which is silent is a reprobate conscience. Without a conscience, conviction has no foothold, and condemnation has full run of the field!
Not being responsible for our actions, not utilizing self-control inspires a diminishing conscience and a lack of sensitivity to God’s conviction, eventually ending in a “crisis” of faith. Paul speaks many times about the value of owning a good conscience for a good reason.
David Mathis wrote that, “True self-control is a gift from above, produced in and through us by the Holy Spirit. Until we own that self-control is received from the Lord rather than whipped up from within, pulling ourselves up by our own boot straps so to speak, the effort we give to control our own selves will come back only as self-glorification, rather than God’s. But we also need to note that self-control is not a gift we receive passively, but actively, we must be involved with the Lord, diligently pursuing the Fruit of the Spirit. We are not the source, but we are very personally involved. We open the God’s gift and live it. Receiving the grace of self-control means eventually, we must go out into the actual exercise of grace.”
And to quote one more, Ed Welch wrote, “As the Hebrews were promised the land, but had to take it by force, one town at a time, so we are promised the gift of self-control, yet we also must take it by force.” In other words, to gain the fruit of self-control we must participate with God in actively pursuing restraint and discipline.”
2 Peter 1:6-7, “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.” One-way i read this is that if you gain knowledge from the Lord, that knowledge will help you gain the fruit of “self-control”, and you know, the Lord doesn’t tell us stuff just we can know stuff, nor does He give us gifts so we can keep them a secret and not share. Ephesians 5 says one of our goals is to build up the body of Christ.
As believers, i consider that self-control is not about bringing the belly of our passions under our own control, but under the control of Christ by the power of his Spirit. Because self-control is a fruit which is produced in and through us by God’s Spirit, Christians can and should be the most hopeful people on the planet about growing in self-control. We are, after all, brothers of the most self-controlled person in the history of the universe, Jesus.
Proverbs 25:28, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls”. A man who cannot control, discipline or restrain himself is very vulnerable, like a city whose walls have been broken down. Under our own steam, in our own attempts to have control, we lose control.
Bringing our passions under our own control may seem like a good idea, and it certainly isn’t a bad one, but by ourselves alone, i don’t believe there are any who have the strength to effectively, with long lasting results, bring themselves into subjection to their own authority. Authority is no better than the weight behind it and if we are our own weight or authority, then i believe we are doomed. The idea of bringing my passions, which i can’t control, under my own authority is thinking in circles, it is monotoned and “thin thinking”. The truth is, no one is smart enough to actually run their own life. Just not. For starters, too many of us have boundary problems, meaning the passions we felt we had under control yesterday, we may not want to control tomorrow, which is what i call “a momentary truth”, meaning what is true today probably will not be tomorrow.
For many, the lack of self-control is very destructive, and if it’s not immediately and obviously destroying us, over time our destructive behaviors literally wear us down. God’s plan is for us to prosper, not to be slaves to our passions.
In recovery houses around the country, people who still wrestle with their addictions, typically aren’t allowed to live there. Why? Because human beings tend to spiral downwards to total lack of self-control, not spiral up, and when someone who is not determined to practice self-control lives in the house, that out-of-control person is inclined to persuade the entire house, simply due to their life’s motivation, thereby putting the whole house at risk.
1Corinthians 9:24-27, (my paraphrase) “Do you not realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? If we all must run, then run to win! All athletes exercise self-control in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just swinging in the dark here. I discipline my body and keep it under control, training it to do what it should.”
Everybody serves somebody or something. Oh yes we do. One way or another we are bound to Christ, for life, or bound to ourselves and this world to death. Choose today whom you will serve. In Romans 6, Paul wrote, “Do you not know that to whom you put yourselves at the disposal of as slaves resulting in obedience, as slaves you will be to whom you render habitual obedience. We can either be slaves of the sinful nature resulting in death, or obedient slaves resulting in righteousness?”
Will we be slaves or will we be free?
In 2 Corinthians 10:5, scripture says “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
If we don’t practice self-control with our passions, then our passions will practice control on us, or, if we don’t take those thoughts captive, and that is ALL the thoughts not just the ones we don’t like or approve of, then they will take us captive. Either way, somebody is going down in chains as a captive.
Primarily, “the love of Christ controls us”, and when we get our arms around the truth that He is our Savior and ruling authority, in Christ we have the power and strength to walk a level path. In the person of Jesus, “the grace of God” has appeared, training us” — not just “to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions,” but “to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.”
Titus 2:11-12, “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present…”
i will be the first to admit, disciplining my passions and practicing self-control is no fun in the here and now, possibly even painful. How well i know the struggle to not eat just one more donut, understanding full well that the sugar is not my friend and my stomach may bother me. Yet, oh, how i want it; but if i resist, that discipline will yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by grace. i think to myself occasionally, what a shame i had to get this much older only to discover that not eating yet another donut was a good idea. Therefore, strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight, level paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. When we allow the power of Christ to help us practice self-control, suddenly we are where we are going, and we find our feet on level ground. Think about it.
Galatians5:22-23, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such things there is no law.”
Gaining knowledge and understanding concerning self-control and then actually doing it, to me, is one of the hardest things in life, !BUT!, it is a fundamental necessity for a life well lived.
All of His life, Jesus was without sin. 1 Peter 2:22 says “He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.” He stuck with the purpose and plan even when He was in agony and sweat came like drops of blood. In the middle of His trial the Son of God had the wherewithal and self-control to not refute the false charges or defend himself. He didn’t neeeeed a defense because He held no offense. When accused and vilified, He did not abuse and malign anyone in return. Matthew 26:67 says “They spit in his face and beat him; some slapped him with their open hands.” Then, they scourged him. In every trial and temptation, “Jesus learned obedience through what he suffered”, and at the pinnacle of his self-control he was “obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Stand up church! Get to your feet.
i’m Social Porter and this has been Outposts.
Self-control is one of the Fruits of the Spirit, therefore, if we are believers it is also one of our attributes, enough so that others can see that part of our character. We can do this church. The Lord has given it to us to follow in His footsteps with success. Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and by Him, we are of sound mind, self-controlled and sane….thinking and walking on level ground.”
Be strong and courageous this week, be mindful of the needs of others. Enjoy your evenings, we’ll meet again on the trail of the lonesome pine. Amen.