Kindness
Kindness is not only what we do, but how we are and why we do what we do. As example, it is a kindness to listen, and a kindness to bury the dead. It’s the kind of virtue which affects everyone and was considered part of the Knight’s Code of Chivalry. When a judge passes sentence, it can be done with kindness, just like when a parent disciplines a child, it should be done with kindness.
Be kind to yourself … the Lord not only calls us to be kind to our neighbor, but also to ourselves. Think about it: if you had a friend who spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? So many of us are very unkind to ourselves. We condemn ourselves in the mirror with demeaning names which no one hears but us and God. The Lord doesn’t talk to you that way, so, why do you? Or maybe you imagine He speaks to you in a contemptuous voice but it’s not true. That’s the voice of hell or maybe your mothers voice, but it’s not the Lord. Maybe some of us have an attitude that says, “if i were God, i wouldn’t like me either” … but that’s not what the Lord does … He is kind and His kindness changes us.
It is a kindness to keep our word … not keeping our word is a subtle betrayal which isn’t something only common to enemies … it happens with the greatest frequency and impact with those closest to us. It is kind to be loyal, and kind to be honest yet still practicing kindness in our being honest.
Ruth kept her word and went with Naomi out of love. Boaz recognized her action as goodness in Ruth 2:11-12 and calls it kindness in Ruth 3:10, “Then he said, “Blessed are you of the LORD, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich.”
Wisdom says it is cruel to defame your family name and alternatively is a kindness to morally and ethically restrain yourself for the sake of a good name.
Webster’s Dictionary defines kindness as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. To me, when the world defines any of God’s attributes, it rarely is long enough, wide enough, or deep enough to accurately portray His Heart.
Simply put, Webster’s definition isn’t enough, the Lord’s kindness is bigger than that, it’s a personal quality, a character attribute of His in which we participate. Contrary to the doom-sayers who seem to just love the concept of God as a finger pointing, raging, accuser, He is quite the opposite … God is kind, hospitable, and generous, even to sinners. He is also considerate in that if He were demanding and line drawing, as it was in the days of the law, none would survive and we would have no point in being born except to suffer and die, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Friends, let us see that the kindness of God leads us to repentance, Romans 2:4.
The topic is the Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness. It’s a huge topic but a very important one considering it reveals the heart of the Lord and is a gentle but indepth look at another of God’s details.
Ruth 2:20, “Then Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, “May he be blessed by the LORD, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead!”
Surely we all know God shows His kindness to His people, but even to the dead? And who are the dead? Are they simply the ones who don’t breathe anymore? Just because people breathe and choose doesn’t mean they are alive. Living things begat livingness, and dead things begat dyingness.
Kindness is the power to lift up the fallen ones and those who are near to fainting in the heat of battle … it is having grace in the palm of your hands to pass out like candy from your pockets. Now that is so good, i’m going to say it again because i really want us to get it. This is truly important that we grasp this: Kindness is the power to lift up the fallen ones and those who are near to fainting in the heat of battle … it is having grace in the palm of your hands to pass out like candy from your pockets.
James 2:15-16, “If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you don’t give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?” Doing life like that sure makes us look pious, but kindness isn’t about how you look, and is evident in how we treat others.
Here’s another angle from God’s perspective: Kindness is an action where we extend our hands of grace to others. Do you hear it? Extended hands of grace. Is that you?
Although … it’s good to practice when we don’t feel like it because “the rules of getting it right” say we should, but it’s best when it’s a condition of our heart that performs acts of hope, help, rescue and deliverance. There is a marked difference between good and best.
i think most of us practice kindness when we’re feeling pretty good … that’s easy. Being kind to those we think “deserve” kindness, or what i call “privileged compassion” is effortless, meaning it is easy for us to be kind and compassionate to someone who we think deserves it. In an incredible scene from the 1998 film Pleasantville, the father of the TV-perfect Parker family returns home from work, comes in the door and says the magic words “Honey, I’m home!”, conjuring up the vision of a smiling wife, adorable children, and dinner on the table.
This time, though, it doesn’t work and his words just echo down the empty halls. No wife, no kids, no food. Confused, he repeats, “Honey, i’m home!”, as if he must have said the magic words incorrectly. Long silence, still nothing. After he looks all through his empty house, he wanders out into the rain … while standing there in a soaking wet suit and tie, rain running down his face, he mournfully questions this suddenly strange malfunctioning universe, saying with profound bewilderment, “Where’s my dinner?”
We can feel bad for the man, he is pitiful … afterall, sarcastically, he’s worked hard all day and it pulls at our heart strings to see his world falling apart … he is so privileged and deserves kindness, right? Just like any hard working man, he just wants his dinner. Sometimes we easily practice misplaced kindness and compassion.
Kindness is not the stooping down toward the underprivileged from a privileged position because we are so “up there” and they are so “down there” and we are lowering ourselves in arrogant condescension to help those poor lesser beings. It is not a reaching out from our high platform to those who are less fortunate below. It is not a gesture of pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull. On the contrary, kindness is going directly to those people and places where the disqualified, the poor and prodigal sons are and building relationships there.
We somehow conclude, by our own judgment using our own weights and measures, that the lifelong repeat offender deserves far less kindness than the person who’s only messed up their life a couple times. Many are inclined to practice kindness towards a fuzzy cute animal, but when it comes to other people, like the bankrupt and blind, it seems our hands are often pretty empty, if not just plain old closed. You know what i’m talking about, and it’s not about boundaries, it’s about how we lean in our heart towards God. When it’s part of our makeup and rises out of the overflow of our heart, even when we are down and broken, kindness still comes easily to our hand. Let this stick to you: Godly kindness flows out of the abundance of our heart, as it flows out of the abundance of God’s heart.
Can we be kind without being compassionate? i believe it is not possible to act kindly and not be compassionate, unless it’s a total fake, like someone running for a political position and who needs to look kind today for the purposes of getting votes tomorrow. Doing acts of kindness and lacking compassion is no kindness at all but deception.
From the Hebrew words for kindness and compassion, there are, amazingly, words of grace which are linked by grace. Kindness is so intrinsic to the very character of God, that within the very word kindness is written the Names of God, which are powerful to break down strongholds and overcome darkness in high places. Within the word “compassion” there is the action of God for the sake of the Son, Jesus. Do you get that? Kindness and compassion are powerful to breakdown strongholds.
In 2 Chronicles 10 the people were burdened and grieved over taxes and governmental abuse, so the king took counsel with the older wisemen. They told the king in vs. 7, that if he would speak kindly to the people, and give them gentle words they would gladly serve him forever. Kindness and compassion are powerful persuaders.
i consider kindness and compassion like brothers, a team, verbs at their root which grew up to be masculine nouns … they go together and wherever you find one the other is nearby. When we practice kindness it is like we are giving to others the support which the Lord extends to us. Kindness describes an inward heart that bows before the Lord. i believe compassion and kindness drive each other … they both jump start, encourage and help each other, both being seen and unseen, revealed and concealed. When the “brothers” are concealed from others except for the recipients of their benefits, it is called “secret treasure”.
Luke 12:34, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” i say, if you can’t find your heart, go look to see where your treasure is, and i guarantee your heart is laying around there somewhere.
Kindness is concern for our neighbor … .it knocks on the door to check on others, visits the invalid, the widowed and shut-in … it is being compassionate toward the needy. Kindness, out of compassion, gives of itself to others and helps to bring them into a redeeming relationship with the Lord.
Now as the Hebrews see it, and from God’s perspective, in the middle of the word for kindness is the root word for “goodness” which is an inspiration for repentance. Ha! Now isn’t that interesting! That the Lord accepts our repentance is a kindness, afterall, His kindness leads us to repentance. When we practice kindness and compassion, goodness, the goodness of God is enlarged in the eyes of the world, and as we know the goodness of God is like an axle to a wheel, it is central to everything which goes on with the wheel.
Leviticus 19:18, “You shall love your fellowman as yourself.” By observation, i believe long standing isolation neutralizes… literally opposes life … it interferes with our relationship with God … . kindness and compassion work to relieve the agony of those who feel abandoned, rejected, isolated and alone. With compassion always at the side of kindness, the truth will always prevail. Jesus was compassionate and kind, He prevailed and was more than a conqueror. He is the living personification of truth, kindness and compassion … they are alive because He is alive and sitting at the right hand of the Father Almighty.
Kindness and compassion always end up pointing to the King of Kings, are always inclined to teach others of the Lord’s purposes. They both are a thing of the heart, and if it’s faked, it’s called betrayal. Funny how when someone fakes kindness or compassion, others just seem to somehow “know” it’s not real and they tend to hold the poser in contempt. Even the world resents false compassion and kindness.
Kindness is NOT random, it isn’t something that just sort of “happens”, nor is it done without method or conscious decision. According to God, kindness and compassion never “just happen”, in fact, nothing “just happens”. i kind of doubt there is any such thing as “random kindness” because actually, kindness is very purposeful and intentional. There is only one God and His name is Yahweh, Father, Son, Holy Ghost and it is a kindness that we are included with Him.
Where to begin with practicing kindness? How about being kind to ourselves as a place to start? When we are demeaning to the person in the mirror it’s more damaging and long lasting than if someone punched us in the face. I really do believe that. That sort of self-talk can whittle you down to your core, and make you believe things that are simply NOT TRUE. All because you told yourself such darkness, and allowed yourself to believe in the foolishness the enemy has gladly doled out. If God has thrown our sins as far as east is from west when we’ve accepted Christ’s atonement for our sins, why do we keep reminding ourselves of all our wrong? Is God’s goodness to us just too good to be true? Is it a point of us not having any worth? God says we were worth dying for, and who am i to re-decide what God has called truth?
By no means am i saying we should let ourselves off the hook of being responsible for our actions, but when we have made things right between ourselves and God, be at peace with others as much as is possible, and stop beating yourself up, stop doing penance. Stop it! Be kind to yourself. If you make a mistake, stop cursing yourself in the mirror. Think again, if someone spoke to you like you speak to yourself, how long would you let that person remain in your life? Don’t you know the enemy loves, i mean, LOVES it when we are stuck on what a failure we are instead of how blessed we are in Christ. Jesus has paid our debt, and the enemy wants you to bleed and bleed and bleed until he decides you have bled enough. Did Jesus bleed enough for you? And if He did, then be kind to yourself and move on. Did Jesus suffer enough for you? If He did, be kind to yourself and move on. Did Jesus die enough for you? If He did, then who is it who reminds us hourly of all the things we have done wrong? It’s not God, that’s for sure.
Byron Wicker writes a weekly article usually. One week his article was titled, “Judas Come Home. All is Forgiven” … i remember thinking it was such a peculiar thing to say. The article was partly inspired by a book titled, “The Gospel According To Judas”, by Ray S. Anderson. Pastor Wicker wrote, “I did not even get past this first sentence in the prologue when I read what the author was telling me. I saw it in the men’s restroom in a restaurant in San Francisco, printed in block letters with a blue felt tip pen across the top of the mirror: JUDAS COME HOME – ALL IS FORGIVEN!”
“When I read that phrase it was like someone stuck a red-hot sword into my heart. All the memories from my own “Judas days” came into my mind. I remembered the feelings of rejection, loneliness and not having a place I could call home. I also begin to think about all the people I knew who had lost face in the church and suffered rejection, shame and eventually left.”
“Then I heard a whisper from Heaven saying to all the Judas’ out there, “Come home all is forgiven, I love you”. That little phrase really broadened my revelation of the Father’s heart and love toward us. It made me want to go to everyone I knew that had stepped into dishonor, lost face and run way and tell them, “Come home, all is forgiven, the Father loves you.” This is what Judas was trying to tell me – it was about how big the Father’s heart really is.”
“In the epilogue of the book Ray gives us a wonderful picture of the love and grace of the Lord. The Lord says, “My choosing of you counts more than your betrayal of Me!” Through His grace I discovered that the calling of God by which we become children of the kingdom does not rest upon our faith alone, but upon His faithfulness toward us.”
When you look in the mirror, do you see the eyes of Judas, the eyes of a traitor, a failure, the eyes of a reprobate staring back at you? That’s not what God says about you. We need to get this DOWN IN OUR HEADS, the Lord says we are a new creation in Christ in 2 Cor5:17, and “new” means “new”, not mostly or pretty much. The Lord says again in 2Cor5:21, “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be the righteousness of God in Christ.”
Is it still considered kindness, not when it is a free offering on our part, but as a demand of obligation by someone else? Maybe, but i question how long can we sustain forced kindness when it’s not what’s in our heart? It is a kindness the Lord includes us, the greater includes the lesser, and we are to live a life of kindness and compassion in the same way Jesus did. Not because we “have to” as if someone demanded it of us, and not for the reasons of “following the rules”, being legally bound due to an obligation of some sort, but because kindness and compassion are intrinsic to our character.
Psalm 86:15 “But You, O Lord, are a God full of kindness, compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.”
Colossians 3:12-13, “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another…”.
The apostle Paul linked kindness to compassion and humility; it’s linked to enduring with each other and not thinking more highly of ourselves than we should … to being graceful to each other , exercising forgiveness. Kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit, one of the ear marks of how we know we are in the beloved. Some think of themselves as true believers yet don’t display, as an inner reflection of their true selves, any of the signs of true kinship in Christ. Now, you may think that is an odd thing to say, but there are many in the church who, by their actions and attitude, you might never know they are believers. So, i figure the following is a pretty good question: How should kindness be “shown” or proved without works? You know how James 2:26 says faith without works is dead, well i say that, additionally, kindness without works is dead also.
Having a heart in which mercy resides is kindness. Luke 1:78-79, “Through the heartfelt mercies of our God, God’s Sunrise will break in upon us, Shining on those in the darkness, those sitting in the shadow of death, Then showing us the way, one foot at a time, down the path of peace.”
Do you know what your “epistemology” is? Epistemology is the study of knowing “what” you believe, “how” you came to that conclusion, and “why” you think it’s the best perspective. We can’t come to own solid epistemological doctrine by only looking at what suits us. If we’re truly interested in what God has to say, we’ve got to look further than our own rhetoric. If we never look beyond our own backyard, our own backyard is all we’ll ever see and we’ll never see the green shoots of grace at our neighbors’ house. Knowing the heart of the Lord and understanding the fruits and gifts of the Spirit is part of our epistemology. i want to know what the Lord means when He says “kindness” is part of our character … it’s is more than just being “nice”. “Nice” is very subjective, so “kindness” must be defined by someone higher and bigger than ourselves, and i don’t mean your pastor, i mean the Lord, who IS the standard.
The Lord not only empathizes with us, He sympathizes with us. Not only does he help us when we are down and out, but He joins us in our troubles to bring us out. Isaiah 63:9, “In all their affliction He was afflicted, And the Angel of His Presence saved them; In His love and in His pity He redeemed them; And He bore them and carried them All the days of old.”
The Lord’s kindness is from everlasting to everlasting, like His mercies never come to an end. Isaiah 54:10, “For the mountains shall depart And the hills be removed, But My kindness shall not depart from you, Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,” Says the LORD, who has mercy on you.”
i know two values that occur in the mystery of suffering: the first value is that all things get reduced to their lowest common denominator, and the second is that in the school of affliction, God turns our pain into kindness and compassion if we’ll let Him.
Honestly, i heard a man pray this morning thanking God for his suffering and the lessons he’d learned. It frightened me for a moment, but really, if that’s where we have to go to know the Lord, then that’s the best direction any one could ever take. The Lord is compassionate and kind to us and will not grind us to powder with trials. Think about, and even, amen, that’s a big “think about it” right there.
The caste system was originally based on someone’s idea of the necessary steps in order to be holy. From what i’ve read, there wasn’t much kindness and compassion, it was stiff and stringent, and there was often a lot of self-administered affliction. i’ve never read that Jesus ever did anything like that. He was kind to Himself and to others, and that very same kindness restructured the lives of others. We need to learn how to “sing the tears” of compassion when we extend our hands of grace to the needy. We often affirm our friendships with cards & trinkets of endearment, but our time would certainly be better spent if we maintained those relationships with the kindness of time given, gentle words, and encouragement.
This fruit of the Spirit, kindness, our extended hands of grace is essential to our character, it is foundational to whatever impact we make, everywhere we go, green grass grows. Practice, practice, practice, and the more often we are kind and compassionate, the more often we will be kind and compassionate. It’s not just doing or saying nice things, it is the contents of our heart given away in the action of our lives.
Drive carefully this week, be kind to yourself and your neighbor. We’ve tried being harsh and accusing to ourselves, and thus far, it’s not gone well. Let’s try something different like kindness and compassion, speaking words of peace and encouragement to the person in the mirror instead. Rejoice, Jesus knows your name, and i’ll talk to you next time. Amen and amen.