Gentleness
i heard a story of a corporal at Valley Forge who was directing three men as they tried to lift a log into place. It was too heavy, but the corporal commanded again and again, “All right, men, one, two, three, lift!” A man in an overcoat came by and said to the corporal, ‘Why don’t you help them?” The corporal pulled himself up to full height, straightened his uniform in a curt fashion, and replied, “Sir, I am a corporal.” Without a word, the man stepped over, and with his help, the log went easily into place. The man was George Washington. He wasn’t too important to help, and his lack of a snide comment was an exercise in gentleness and self-control. Gentleness includes true humility that does not consider itself too good or too exalted for humble tasks and is never self-important but considerate, courteous, and modest, yet willing to try when a job needs to be done. Gentleness is defined as restraint coupled with strength and courage.
How important is “gentleness” or “meekness”? As previously stated, God calls it one of the fruits of being righteous. Got fruit? Is it what you would like to believe it is or is it the real deal?
i often find that the translators of the Bible used a single English word to portray something which has a much larger implication in Hebrew and Greek…. in the case of Galatians 5:23, the translators used single words like “gentleness” or “meekness”, but the larger picture is “to have the attitude of a little lamb”…not, as many interpret “gentleness” as groveling, slavish, or pandering. What the Lord means is far from that. Gentleness is so very not cowardice or weakness, by any means, according to God’s values.
Ecclesiastes 8:1, “There’s nothing better than being wise, knowing how to interpret the meaning of life. Wisdom puts light in the eyes, And gives gentleness to words and manners.”
It is more about humility and kindness permeating all that we do and say…when “gentleness” is used as a verb it expresses how Jesus humbled himself by submitting to the oppressions of the ungodly. Isaiah 53:7, “He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers are dumb, so He did not open his mouth.”
Keep your seat, lend me your ears, and let the vision play in your head as we explore one of the Fruits of the Spirit: Gentleness.
Gentleness and humility … humility being the driving motivation behind gentleness…. they are two important words representing character attributes, typically, only obtained thru the school of affliction. i believe, one of the outcomes of affliction…IS humility. None of us, wholeheartedly, go there, but, you know, there are some things which are only gotten by going through difficult trials, not that we would ever wish trials on anyone, BUT….more often than not, it is the only way to get God’s character worked in us. Those who go with God and endure the “educational institution of unhappy situations” have their sharp edges rounded off by circumstances, with the character of Jesus slowly being revealed in them like gold sticking out of the ground. Gentleness is a grace all believers possess, or at least, it is the Lord’s intention that the fruit of the Spirit is evident in us. If Jesus has it, we can have it also…gentleness is…mildness of disposition, a natural inclination to kindness above violence and doesn’t spring out of, nor rest upon a sense of worthlessness. Ever. A gentle heart is not a victim’s heart.
2 Corinthians 10:1, “Now I, Paul, myself am pleading with you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—who, in presence, am lowly among you, but being absent am bold toward you.”
i believe the words of the Bible not only represent God’s heart but that it says what the Lord meant for it to say in the order He meant for it to be. We should pay attention to not only the words the Lord uses, but the order….nothing in scripture is unintentional…..therefore i’m looking at how 2 Cor 10:1 is worded. In this case, Paul included the words meekness and lowly in conjunction with gentleness. These three words support each other and easily go together…they help to show that gentleness requires humility, and humility is accompanied by meekness….in contrast, with pride and feelings of superiority come rough reactions, stubbornness, and know-it-all answers. Honestly, among church people, i am weary of rough reactions, stubbornness, and know-it-all answers. i’ve come to expect it from the world, but from my own people? C’mon church, we can do this!
It is written, “Yet when they were ill, I grieved for them. I denied myself by fasting for them…” We need to also extend our gentleness, not just towards other believers who appear to deserve some “privileged compassion”, but even more so towards those who scoff and scorn. In Psalms 35, the Psalmist used this concept to emphasize the extent of his concern and consideration, even for his enemy,
Gentleness, as a fruit of the Spirit, is not just for us….. as with ALL of the Lord’s attributes, it is an extension to the world as a testimony of His love and the sacrifice of Jesus for our sins.
Gentleness isn’t just an external attribute like a washed face, instead, it is, what i call, an “inner worked grace of the soul”, born from the inside out, which we first and primarily practice towards God. And yes, i mean “to the Lord first”, He should be our first and last thought and action in our lives, every day.
James 1:21, “Therefore lay aside all criminality, immorality, wrongness, and abundance of vice and depravity, and receive with meekness, gentleness, and humility the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.”
That is a profound scripture. It means …. not ignoring our wrongness of character, nor being distracted from it, pretending it isn’t there, but by accepting with a receptive heart Christ who is able to save us all together.
Most think of this beautiful attribute as, God in His kindness, mercy, and gentleness, extended to us, but gentleness also represents how we do what we do, not just what we do. In James 1:21, James, who is widely thought to be James the half-brother of Jesus, used the word “receive”, which means the fruit is born in us by God…He did the work……He gives, and we receive… He has planted Himself in us and we accept His word for our saving grace, meekness, gentleness, and humility. Again, not just what our faith and works are but how we exercise our faith and perform our works. We can easily establish that meekness and humility are associated with…. gentleness, the attitude and frame of mind with which we accept the Lord’s plans and implementations as a good thing, without arguing, fighting, or resisting.
Ephesians 4:2, “with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love”… we need to know that the humble heart is also the gentle heart….it does not fight against God, neither do they struggle and contend with Him. He is gentle with us, and we, in return are gentle with Him.
Our gentleness and meekness, as the fruit of righteousness, is to be displayed toward others….it is how we are, even to evil people who insult and grieve us. i realize it is hard when we are vilified and wrongly accused, but what if, somehow, we were of such character we were not offended, instead seeing the trial as an opportunity to be more Christ-like? Jesus gave no defense because He held no offense. We who are gentle know ourselves as the lowest of the low, and also highly favored as children of the most high God, like Jesus, with the character of a young lamb.
In John 18:22, Jesus endured with humility, the indignity of being unjustly struck, yet He endured, what is called, “the contradiction of sinners”, meaning the unredeemed don’t want to die but yet they also refuse to yield themselves to God. Jesus had learned to gently endure the afflictions and provocations with which others gouged at Him….yet He did not withdraw himself from the burdens which their sin imposed upon him. He meekly, humbly, and gently endured the sins of the world.
Sometimes the battle is won or lost not so much on the strength of the mighty, but on endurance. Titus 3:1-2, “Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.”
Simply being nice is NOT being gentle. Being “nice” is a very subjective term. If someone doesn’t give us what we want, often we say they aren’t being nice, but if we get what we want, we say that person is nice. Being “gentle” has a deeper foundation than just its own qualities….in fact, in my observation, gentleness can’t exist without meekness and humility. It is not possible to be arrogant and unyielding…. passing out “i know” type of answers, and still be gentle, meek, and humble…..it is contradictory.
…. there is that word again, “humble”. Humility is closely connected with gentleness, so i would think we also need to consider how God views humility. i believe He sees humility as essential for every believer, after all, scripture says humility does come before honor. James 4:6, “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble”.
The Lord resists arrogance and haughtiness, including our justifications for not being gentle to those who have offended us, been harsh to us, or who we don’t feel deserve gentleness. 1 Peter 5:6-7, “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”
My friends, if we won’t humble ourselves before the Lord, He will humble us for us, so let us all just go ahead and get low. We all want to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit, but humility is foundational to them all. We can’t have Godly self-control without humility; we can’t have Godly gentleness without humility; nor peace, strength, or love…humility is essential, right from the start. As i said, let all of us just stop fooling around and go ahead and get low.
The Lord is interested in us showing the same gentleness that Jesus showed to the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11). Instead of aiming our finger at the offender and self-righteously casting the first stone, quoting them the Law…..we are to follow Jesus, gently, and firmly saying to go and sin no more. God is overwhelmingly gentle with us when we sin or need correction, and He expects us to be the same way with others.
In Acts 17, starting in vs 16, Paul was in Athens and observed that the city seemed to be entirely taken over by idols. Interestingly, Paul didn’t rail on them, nor was he threatening and provoking. Can you imagine how that would sound? Do you think he’d get a positive response of repentance from the people?
Imagine him standing on a box in the middle of their gathering place, the wind blowing his hair back, robes sweeping, fire in his eyes, body arched forward in an accusing posture, aiming his bony finger at them and yelling, “You bunch of low down sinners! You have immeasurably sinned, you and your false, lying, ugly little gods! You are so ignorant about anything religious! What do you know?! You don’t know anything! Let me tell you something….fall down right now and pray, no BEG God for mercy that you evil sinners, monsters of iniquity may not be struck down and burned to a crisp right where you stand like the devils you are!”
Does that sound like a gentle reply to you? Would anyone you know be interested in screaming such words at people? Unfortunately, maybe. What do you think the probability of a positive response would have been? Let me say it again, God is overwhelmingly gentle with us when we sin and need correction, and He expects us to be the same way with others.
Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Colossians 3:12, “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” He…chose … you, and this is a list of what we should wear as His people, representing His heart to the world.
Acts 17 is a wonderful example of how clever and appealing gentleness can be. When Paul began his message to the Athenians, God gave him wisdom and, i believe, he must have taken into account the background and situation of the people with their many gods. He obviously noted how they were very religious, and then proceeded to comment on one altar he had seen with the inscription “TO THE UNKNOWN GOD”. In vs 23, he tells them, “Therefore, the One whom you worship without knowing, Him I proclaim to you”.
Rather than being a hammer to the people, Paul, diplomatically and kindly spoke the gospel to them…it was a gentle way of encouraging people away from the worship of dozens of false gods to their death and toward worshipping the true God to life. Even though some mocked…he endured their provocations, others asked to hear more, and some even joined and believed.
The lifestyle of gentleness we are being called to in Gal 5:23 is….. a pattern of grace only found in Christ Jesus, Yeshua, the Lord, Messiah, and God. The phrase “pattern of grace” is going to be repetitively used here for a while.
Why should we be diligent to become gentle in all our dealings? Because hate breeds hate, malice breeds malice, drama breeds drama, kindness breeds kindness, and gentleness breeds gentleness. We may have to be firm, if not straight out drawing lines and exacting solid boundaries diligently, but we can do it while being gentle. Gentleness is a heart posture, it’s the way we are and how we do life. It is a pattern of grace that is God’s template and only He can develop it in us. To clarify, the fruit of righteousness called, “gentleness” is not an attribute we act out, it is the way we are….. it is not just inward, but dominantly upward.
i think it is important for us also to consider the gentleness of God towards us so that we understand how we are supposed to act toward our neighbor.
The Lord is gentle towards our imperfect righteousness. Additionally, the Lord refuses to exact well-deserved penalties. In Psalm 85:5, the Psalmist asks, “Will You be angry with us forever? Will You prolong Your anger to all generations?” The Lord answers that question in Isaiah 54:9, “For this is like the waters of Noah to Me; For as I have sworn that the waters of Noah would no longer cover the earth, So have I sworn That I would not be angry with you, nor rebuke you.”
The Lord keeps in mind what we are made of and measuresHis dealings with us by love and grace, expecting us to return that same love, grace, and gentleness to others, not just to those who agree with us or support us, which would be what i call, “privileged compassion”. Peter is a great example. Peter’s attitude was far from ideal, after all, he was, in my opinion, a rough fisherman who was used to working in semi-solitude…his social skills weren’t very polished. i guess we could say he often appeared to others as coarse and maybe even unpleasant. Even so, Peter had a heart that was tender towards God. Not only was the Lord gentle with Peter, but expected Peter to extend the same pattern of grace to others. Luke 22:32, “But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”
The highly forgiven servant in the parable of Matt 18:23-35….having known the gentleness and compassion of the master, was expected to return the same to his fellow servants. But, as we read to the end of the parable, we see that the exterior of the servant spoke one thing, but his heart was another….his lack of gentleness came back to bite him.
The Lord gave us His Son to free us from sin and death, to have life and have it more abundantly. That life was never meant for us to just lay in the sun and soak up all that goodness for ourselves…..it was given with the intent that, as He practices His goodness upon us, we should practice it to others. Think about it.
i was in a conversation a while back concerning the gifts and fruits of the Spirit and someone made a profound statement, so i wrote it down. She said, “Being filled with the Spirit is as much about character as is any use of Spiritual gifts. The Holy Spirit fruit is supposed to be apparent and visible in our lives every bit as much as His gifts are to be shown through us. It’s silly and lopsided to give attention to the gifts of the Spirit without giving attention to the fruit of the Spirit.” That quote may not seem relevant now, but in a few weeks, it will be more apparent as to why i’m throwing that in here.
1 Timothy 6:11, “But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.”
Philippians 4:5, “Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.”
Abraham Lincoln said, “When the conduct of men is designed to be influenced, persuasion…kind unassuming persuasion, should always be adopted. It is an old and true proverb that a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.’ So it is with men. If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the great highroad to his reason, and which, once gained, you will find but little trouble in convincing him of the justice of your cause, if indeed that cause is really a good one.”
Do you favor someone talking to you calmly and gently, or…. when they yell at you or speak aggressively to you? People respond better to gentle words.
Do you like it when someone shakes your hand gently and firmly or…. as tight as they can squeeze, being contentious and threatening? People react better to gentleness in touch.
Do you prefer when someone is helping you with a problem that they patiently work with you, trying to understand your difficulties, or that they insult you by putting you down and speaking roughly to you? People prefer gentle assistance.
Would you rather be around someone who is gentle or someone who is not?
If you are in leadership, you are called to feed, nurture, comfort, correct, and protect, and we should do these things with profound gentleness. The virtuous leader comforts their people, binds up wounds, and applies the balm of compassion and love. We need compassionate and gentle servant-leaders who will bear people’s burdens with them, empathize with their circumstances, exhibit patience, and encourage them.
Gentleness is a fruit of righteousness, it is the nature of a lamb. It’s not so much what we do, but how we act and who we are, not an inward thing, but an upward thing….it is God’s pattern of grace alive in us facing a conflicted and contradictory world.
Be strong and courageous, drive carefully, and be at peace and we’ll talk again. Amen.