Of the three high points of leadership which i call the three C’s … conduct, conversation, and character, and our conversation, like our conduct, is a big indicator of our character.
Most of us probably just talk along, and may not give much thought to this, but God considers the words of our mouth to be among the things He considers as, utmost importance. For the cause of the testimony of Christ in us, we need to consider carefully the words we allow past our lips. In Job 8, Bildad accused Job of being a windbag in saying, “How long will you say these things, and the words of your mouth be a great wind?” The Lord warns us to guard our mouth with all diligence in Prov6, lest we are caught, or snared by the words of our mouth. If that happens, go quickly and apologize before your own words dig a pit not so easily escaped.
Conversations encourage exploration of contexts, decisions, and behaviors of relationships. Conversations are not just passing out information, and instructing others, but a two way street of participation. It is as much an employment of our faith to tell others about Jesus as it is to also be facilitators of conversation, allowing others to see in our lives concerning who God has made us to be, in hopes they will see the green shoots of grace in our own backyards, that’s called getting “eye level”.
i think it should be made clear, the idea of getting “eye level” with God and others is a metaphor as well as a physical action. Good conversation that is “eye level” is personal and relational because God is personal and relational, and nowhere, and i mean nowhere in the Bible, cover to cover, is God impersonal and non-relational. He was personal and relational in the beginning and He is personal and relational all the way to the end. “Eye level” means to be honest, straightforward, and to be on common ground as in direct, personal conversation where there is no third party mediator. By the blood of Jesus, we have direct access to the Father, and have no need of anyone going to God for us, as if the Lord hears one above the other due to title and position. The dialogue we keep with the Lord is highly influential in the conversations we have with other people. Our conversation is the first thing people hear of us. i believe it is the truth, on the average; most people have already struck a general opinion about us within the first 2-3 minutes of opening our mouth.
1 Peter 1:14-16, “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.””
According to Websters dictionary, a conversation is an informal exchange of views, observations, opinions, feelings, or ideas, and there’s all kinds: quiet conversations, loud ones, personal or private conversations, and others which are the open forum type for anyone who would participate. Conversations typically go in directions which aren’t predictable either, after all if it were scripted it wouldn’t be a conversation, it would be called a “play”. A good conversation, not just any but a good conversation is also “emotionally available”. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who doesn’t share anything of themselves? It doesn’t go far without some degree of vulnerability, and without vulnerability it usually feels more like someone gleaning information from you than actually wanting to be involved with you. A good conversation is a risk because it requires transparency.
Our conversation is reflective of our character, so if someone tells you they’re a believer, go to church, maybe even a deacon or pastor etc, etc, then turn around and tell a foul joke, laughing out loud even if no one else laughs, it’s highly likely they’ll not be taken too seriously, maybe even avoided eventually. A good conversation is more valuable than we imagine. It is us allowing others into our lives and others allowing us into theirs. Do you see it? It’s a two way street!
Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.”
We should not just be a distant light in the darkness in people’s lives, we should be the soft light of grace up close and personal. And if we’re going to let our lights shine up close and personal, let us allow the Holy Spirit to resolve our worldly hearts of sourness, bad language which reflects our heart, fault finding, ignorance, and a downcast countenance. If we will let Him, God will fill us with aspects of courtesy, insight, grace, and salt. We are not monotony on two legs you know, we possess the very life and light of the universe in our hearts.
Our external conversation is born from our internal conversation, and i think we need to ask the Lord to redeem our internal narrative, which is where our conflict resolution begins. Within everyone there is a conversation going on, we may not be aware of it, we may not want to admit it or admit to the contents of that internal narrative, but it is there. The Hebrew word for conversation draws a picture of a well-worn path, or a path which is worn from constantly being walked on, and when in groups, it draws a picture of marching together, or, a conversation, like people who are going somewhere together.
In Proverbs 31:3, “your ways” doesn’t necessarily mean the way you do things, but more speaks of your internal narrative, in other words, don’t give your internal conversation over to those things which destroy, or don’t allow yourself a downward spiraling internal conversation so often you begin to believe your own rhetoric. You want to be in leadership? Consider then, in addition to conduct, your conversation is contagious. How you present the words of your mouth is highly likely to be emulated by those around you. Inviting people into a conversation is a door for clarification and an opportunity to venture below the surface of our presentation face. Conversation is a call to allow our thinking’s and musings to be elevated above the horizon, in other words to lift them above street level to be discovered and to not allow our thoughts to remain buried like secrets concerning hidden things.
Conversation is how people get to know what we’re about, it’s how people get to look at aspects of us which aren’t so readily seen. In our vulnerability during the back and forth talk of conversation, we get to see the green shoots of grace growing in other people’s back yards, and if we don’t master small talk, we’ll never see those things. Conversation is where we connect and are connected with, it’s as much an art as letting God make us beautiful for the world to behold.
There are three necessities of leadership, i call them the three C’s…conduct, conversation, and character, and this is the second of the three.
What do you think?
Thanks for listening. i’m Social Porter with Living In His Name ministries.