Let’s step off the dock here and jump right in: What will it take for you to be OK with yourself? We say, “If they’d just…”, “If i could only….”, “If everyone would…”. Shoulda’, woulda’, might’ve….and there’s that slippery little “if”, “if” this “then” that…. “if” is the foundation of imaginary things…. “if’s” are the bricks which build air castles.
A young woman with smoky venom in her eyes, said to me a while back, “I hate that woman! I mean i really really do!” All while staring (maybe glaring) at another woman across the room. It was just the two of us, she and i for a moment in a room full of people. We had a little history from a few conversations in the past, so i felt comfortable asking, “Why?” Her reply was that the other woman was a purposeful and conscious bad influence on the young men, like dresses too short, leaning over to reveal her chest at the right time then looking up to see who was looking, always in a pose of some sort ….you know the drill. i checked to see if we were both speaking of the same person, and yep, she was still staring at the woman across the room with the same smoky venom in her eyes. i asked her “Why do you think she does that?” Suddenly, she turned and glared at me, saying, “Why do you think?!” and then she added, “You ask too many questions!” and huffed away taking her storm with her. i thought to myself the idea of “why” was a great place to begin a discussion. i thought “why” was a wonderful word which God had given to us to use and explore with. Hmmm…. guess that’s not so for some, huh? It seems to be a very uncomfortable word for some when referring to themselves and their behavior. Tonight, we’re talking about “Why – why why why”. We are uncomfortable with the word as it applies to ourselves, Why is that? Oops! Asked another question there. A few folks have called me the interrogator or the “question asker” when they think i don’t hear. When i was a kid i almost failed the 7th grade because i was tired of asking questions and being made fun of. My mother, who was also a teacher, when she saw my grades and found out why (oops, there’s that word again), why they were so poor, she told me, to be brave and ask as many questions as necessary to understand. She told me to ignore people who laughed at me and ask until i was satisfied with the answer. Don’t let public opinion make you stupid.
Here at Outposts, we’re a group of individuals called to be in a close relationship with God Almighty, living His Life out loud in wisdom, conduct, and character, in evidence of the presence of Jesus Christ in a world of declining values.
Why do i take the time each week to write, produce and publish? Because i am passionate and compassionate about Jesus and people; i have a heart to inspire the world around me to live restored, reconciled, and redeemed lives which will bring honor and glory to the name of Jesus. As to where i’m connected, we are a conversational fellowship living to fulfill God’s Word, not forsaking fellowship, encouraging one another in prayer, bringing home the lost, and building disciples. Our path is Jesus Christ Himself, the Singing Light, the Brilliant Sky Who rains upon us, the Radiant Gift who lives in us in Splendor; He is the Living Poem who lifts the corners of our mouth, and the Light who poured Himself in a cup to refresh thirsty hearts. Taste and see the Lord is Good! Take an “O” out of good and you get God, but He is more than good, He is God and there’s never a time He isn’t!
Some would say “Why” is a word sometimes used too often, as in “You ask too many questions”, but it’s also a word people avoid when it is in reference to themselves. Why, meaning “for what purpose, reason, or cause; with what intention, justification, or motive?” Asking “why” is intrinsic to being honest, in fact, the Hebrew word for knowledge has six adverbs which are derived from it, who, what, where, when, how, and why. So, i figure, if we want to have knowledge as God sees it, we’ve got to be brave and venture off into the word “why” and all which comes with it.
In referring to ourselves, the word seems to get right down there under the surface of where we live. Do i avoid the inquisition of “why” because i am uncomfortable to see my real motivations, or is it more that i don’t want to be responsible and accountable if i did realize my real intentions? Maybe i’m not sure of my real motivations and i fear someone will find me out.
According to Simon Sinek, there is a golden circle made of an outer circle and two inner circles. Each is labeled, starting from the outside in, “What, How, and Why”. Mr. Sinek says almost everyone knows what they do, only some know how they do it, but very very few actually know why. Why is the fuzzy center which many never quite get to…they figure if they know what and how, then why isn’t all that necessary. Really? God thinks why is every bit as important, maybe even more important, than what and how.
i have come to a question within myself that i find quite ponderous, and that is – WHY is it that asking the question “why”, when it comes to our intentions and motivations, why is it so difficult to face for so many? What is it about ourselves that we fear so much that we hide our heart away, then we cover up our hiding, and then we cover up our covering up and maybe even manipulate the facts of ourselves, all in an effort to avoid the discussion of “why”? How is it that asking “why” is, often, seemingly a much easier conversation with unbelievers and even criminals than it is within the walls of a church? Honesty is such a difficult commodity to possess it seems. Sometimes, it appears the inquiry into behavior and motivations is far more honest with the world and far more dishonest with believers. i believe that ought not to be so.
What is this very disturbing word, “Why”?
It is a word used as an interrogative pronoun, or, so to say, a word used to set the stage of interrogation, like the words “which, when, what, how, and where”…. we use them in an interrogative styled question, as an example, to glean information, like “What is this place?” or “Where are you going?” Do you get my meaning? In fact, “why” is one of the six adverb derivatives of the Hebrew word for “knowledge”, meaning, to actually possess knowledge as God gives it, but not only as the gift of knowledge He gives, but He also empowers us to be inquisitive to use the words “who, what, where, when, how, and why” in order to glean information for righteous decisions.
Why is used, approximately 600 times throughout scripture. From Matt 1:1 to John 21:25, the word is used 72 times, and 102 times by the end of the N.T. The four gospels have 3779 verses, and in those 3779 verses, there are 630 questions. That means that a little more than 16% of those 3779 verses are questions.
“Why” is a keyword to getting understanding, as the writer of Proverbs suggests in Proverbs 2:2 “turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding…” i believe we are clueless as to just how clueless we really are, which is probably the reason the Lord calls to us to get wisdom. i figure God’s not calling to us to get understanding and knowledge just to hear Himself talk. Truly, i just don’t think we can get understanding without asking “why”….almost like saying, if you’re not willing to ask “why” then you must not be willing for understanding, OR maybe only willing for enough understanding to make your agenda to work, but not quite enough to actually be accountable and responsible. God wants me to be better than i am, and in order to get there i must ask “why” and answer “why”. And that can feel pretty intimidating, especially when i don’t want to hear the answer.
Take note of God’s teaching methods. Throughout the Bible there is the obviousness of sentences that ask a question, they reflect the clarity of God’s methods of teaching. The idea of asking a question was used so that people would think for themselves, and we can trace this pattern to the way Jesus asked questions. By using the word “why”, the Lord was saying, search your heart; He was saying I want you to see your motives and understand your intents. It was a word He used to prompt us to think, to ask Him for wisdom and understanding.
As we’ve said before, Jesus didn’t ask questions because He was ignorant as if needing an answer, He was bringing issues to light, it was meant to prompt people to “think about it”. Jesus asked “why” and used interrogative or inter-rotating-type words to lead us to an understanding of our circumstances, to cause people to draw their own conclusions from His parables, or to inspire someone to consider what they were doing … as seen in John 1:38 when Jesus turned and asked, “Why are you following me? What do you want?”
Do we really think He was asking that because He was scared or lost, or was He asking in order to inspire the two disciples to cross-examine themselves so that they would understand more clearly their own motivations? John 10:32, He asking them “Why are you going to stone me?”, do you think He asked that because He was confused and didn’t understand? Not hardly.
Jesus fully understood and knew the people who wanted Him stoned and dead totally didn’t understand the why’s and wherefore’s of their intents and motives. The “stoners” had clarity about what they wanted to do, and they understood the “how” of it all, but they were completely fuzzy as to “why”, and in this case, “WHY” was the all-encompassing, important question.
Is our problem with the word “why” a fear of scrutiny, at our own hand or worse, others? For some leaders, maybe they are weary of constantly being questioned about their motives and intentions, over and over, to the point where they are simply not willing to engage in a discussion of “why” anymore. In game theory there is always the payoff to consider, so…What is their payoff by not engaging with others about “why” they do what they do? The church, most especially leadership, seems to avoid the word “why” as it relates to themselves, as if the word itself were the plague. What is it that we’re afraid of?
Why do you get up in the morning? That may not seem like a nice question, but i do think it’s worth coming to a conclusion about. Why do many people post on Facebook what they ate or where they’re going when no one has inquired as far as we can see? Maybe people feel generally unseen, unheard, and unknown, and no one seems to even be asking after them as to their well-being. i know some folks who, when i asked them that question, said they just felt they needed to keep others posted and updated. i thought to myself, “Who are “others” and why do we assume anyone is interested if we’ve been outside watering the lawn or not?” Do we assume someone would like to know, or maybe we imagine people are interested even though no one has asked us a question? It’s possible a pretty honest answer would be that… i would certainly want to know about me, and i like to imagine others are interested too. Maybe the truth is, we as a nation generally feel abandoned, rejected, isolated, and alone, and we really wish someone would inquire, and if no one has, we imagine what we would say if they had.
We often move from the clearest thing to the fuzziest thing, often getting lost in the clearest and never quite making it to defining why, the fuzzy part.
“Why” as in what’s your purpose, what is your motivation? How far apart is our presentation face, our work face, and our real face, and why is there seemingly an unbridgable gulf for many between whom we present ourselves to be and who we really are?
A few years ago i went downtown and took a survey, asking a question that referred to the chasm between our presentation face and our real face. The question was, “If your character met your conscience on the street would they know each other?” Most all the answers in reply to my question were answers to questions i was not asking. Even more amazing, no one replied “Yes, my conscience and character get along quite well”. One fellow said that his character would throw rocks at his conscience, and a young woman said her conscience would refuse to walk on the same side of the street as her character. i realized most everyone knew what they did in life, some knew how they lived their life, but almost none, almost none knew why. It seemed people were somehow a little afraid of knowing why and didn’t even want to talk about it.
What were the things Jesus asked others to consider more deeply by asking them “why”?
In Matthew 6:28 “So why do you worry about clothing?” God considered it important for us to know why we are so worried about our stuff. We, in this nation, are obsessively concerned about our stuff, all our stuff. Jesus asks in Matthew 7:3, “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?” Was He asking this because He was mystified by our behavior, or was His intent more that we would consider our intentions concerning our judgments which are aimed at other people? It appears we have a lot to say about what others do or don’t do, but how rarely do we challenge ourselves about our own motivations? Honesty is a key issue with God, but when is honesty just unnecessary bluntness? How about Matthew 8:26 “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” That wasn’t just a question to believers. The grammar there is more universal, as applicable to the “every man” everywhere. How about Matthew 14:31 “…why did you doubt?” In that use of the word “why”, Jesus was asking more accurately, “for what”, or “for what reason did you veer off your faith and re-decide to question God’s intent toward you?” Jesus wasn’t asking Peter because He didn’t know, it was to inspire Peter to look more closely at his own heart and motivations. The Lord’s heart is for us to be transformed, not just change but transformation, and… He wants it to be our idea that we need to stop being like we are and become like He is, because we desire it, not because He mandated. Yes, people can change their behavior without being transformed in their heart. We can mandate addicts stop their addictive, relationship-destroying behavior, but really, the need to stop their addiction needs to come from them because they choose it, not because we require it. We can NOT condemn anyone into being more moral or to possess higher ethics. They may present a face that says they are complying, but their heart is the same.
Jesus is asking us to think about why we have a hard time trusting God, and He’s never “trying to get it across to us”, as if He might fail in His efforts and promises, as if He EVER failed in anything. Why do we have such a hard time letting God be good to us? He was calling us to reimagine what a nation that does not trust God would look like. Why don’t we trust Him? Rom3:4, “God is true and every man a liar.” We are all betrayers by nature, God is the ultimate truth teller, the very personification of truth, but yet we often listen more to the liars than God. Why?
In Matthew 20:6 Jesus asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here idle all day?” What do you think that was about? Matt26:50, when they came to take Jesus away to be crucified, He asked them, “Friend, why have you come?” Then they came and laid hands on Jesus and took Him.” Was He feeling like a victim and was playing His victim card, or did He want them to consider their motives and intents, being honest about why they were doing what they were doing? Forgive them Father for they don’t know what they’re doing, and maybe He could have added, “…and they don’t even want to consider what their motivations are.”
Let’s get to the bottom of our reasons and be brutally honest. i believe, simply, that we fear and have a hard time trusting God; simple unbelief. We fear someone will know what’s truly at the foundation of where we really live. What will it take for us to face the long dark of our unbelief and resolve the conflict? Are we willing to investigate, or should we just procrastinate and ride the wave of “mindless good times”, meandering along in a fog? What will we do, O what will we do? If we don’t like what we reap, then let me suggest we change what we sow. Think about it.
This has been another late evening conversation just full of difficult questions….for most, the answers are very uncomfortable in the short run, but totally profitable in the long run. How far are we willing to travel to resolve our issues, or are we satisfied to sit, muddled and clueless as to the magnitude of our cluelessness? Are we a nation that only has eyes to see the short-term profit of things? The answers to these questions bring us strength to pivot and give momentum to our lives for the tipping point toward our destination.
Tonight, i’m bidding us all to take the challenge of digging into the why of our what. Every successful leader and company starts with “why”, not what. Please, be honest with yourself about it all. Open your ears, muster your courage, the phone is ringing, God is calling you. It would be good if we would take His call and answer the phone. Amen.